Fanny Hill / Cleland, John

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                 FANNY HILL

        MEMOIRS OF A WOMAN OF PLEASURE

                    c 1749

               by John Cleland

Letter The First

     Madam,

     I sit down to give you an undeniable proof of my con-
sidering your desires as indispensable orders.  Ungracious
then as the task may be, I shall recall to view those scan-
dalous stages of my life, out of which I emerg'd, at length,
to the enjoyment of every blessing in the power of love,
health, and fortune to bestow; whilst yet in the flower of
youth, and not too late to employ the leisure afforded me by
great ease and affluence, to cultivate an understanding,
naturally not a despicable one, and which had, even amidst
the whirl of loose pleasures I had been tost in, exerted 
more observation on the characters and manners of the world
than what is common to those of my unhappy profession, who
looking on all thought or reflection as their capital enemy,
keep it at as great a distance as they can, or destroy it
without mercy.

     Hating, as I mortally do, all long unnecessary preface,
I shall give you good quarter in this, and use no farther
apology, than to prepare you for seeing the loose part of my
life, wrote with the same liberty that I led it.

     Truth! stark, naked truth, is the word; and I will not
so much as take the pains to bestow the strip of a gauze
wrapper on it, but paint situations such as they actually
rose to me in nature, careless of violating those laws of
decency that were never made for such unreserved intimacies
as ours; and you have too much sense, too much knowledge of
the ORIGINALS themselves, to sniff prudishly and out of
character at the PICTURES of them.  The greatest men, those
of the first and most leading taste, will not scruple adorning
their private closets with nudities, though, in compliance
with vulgar prejudices, they may not think them decent deco-
rations of the staircase, or salon.

     This, and enough, premised, I go souse into my personal
history.  My maiden name was Frances Hill.  I was born at a
small village near Liverpool, in Lancashire, of parents ex-
tremely poor, and, I piously believe, extremely honest.

     My father, who had received a maim on his limbs that
disabled him from following the more laborious branches of
country-drudgery, got, by making of nets, a scanty subsis-
tence, which was not much enlarg'd by my mother's keeping
a little day-school for the girls in her neighbourhood.
They had had several children; but none lived to any age
except myself, who had received from nature a constitution
perfectly healthy.

     My education, till past fourteen, was no better than
very vulgar; reading, or rather spelling, an illegible
scrawl, and a little ordinary plain work composed the whole
system of it; and then all my foundation in virtue was no
other than a total ignorance of vice, and the shy timidity
general to our sex, in the tender stage of life when objects
alarm or frighten more by their novelty than anything else.
But then, this is a fear too often cured at the expence of
innocence, when Miss, by degrees, begins no longer to look
on a man as a creature of prey that will eat her.

     My poor mother had divided her time so entirely be-
tween her scholars and her little domestic cares, that she
had spared very little of it to my instruction, having,
from her own innocence from all ill, no hint or thought of 
guarding me against any.

     I was now entering on my fifteenth year, when the 
worst of ills befell me in the loss of my tender fond par-
ents, who were both carried off by the small-pox, within a
few days of each other; my father dying first, and thereby
hastening the death of my mother; so that I was now left an
unhappy friendless orphan (for my father's coming to settle
there was accidental, he being originally a Kentishman).  
That cruel distemper which had proved so fatal to them, had
indeed seized me, but with such mild and favourable symptoms,
that I was presently out of danger, and, what I then did not
know the value of, was entirely unmark'd.  I skip over here
an account of the natural grief and affliction which I felt 
on this melancholy occasion.  A little time, and the giddi-
ness of that age dissipated, too soon, my reflections on
that irreparable loss; but nothing contributed more to recon-
cile me to it, than the notions that were immediately put
into my head, of going to London, and looking out for a 
service, in which I was promised all assistance and advice
from one Esther Davis, a young woman that had been down to
see her friends, and who, after the stay of a few days, was
to return to her place.

     As I had now nobody left alive in the village who had
concern enough about what should become of me to start any
objections to this scheme, and the woman who took care of
me after my parents; death rather encouraged me to pursue
it, I soon came to a resolution of making this launch into
the wide world, by repairing to London, in order to SEEK 
MY FORTUNE, a phrase which, by the bye, has ruined more
adventurers of both sexes, from the country, than ever it
made or advanced.

     Nor did Esther Davis a little comfort and inspirit me
to venture with her, by piquing my childish curiosity with
the fine sights that were to be seen in London: the Tombs,
the Lions, the King, the Royal Family, the fine Plays and
Operas, and, in short, all the diversions which fell within
her sphere of life to come at; the detail of all which per-
fectly turn'd the little head of me.

     Nor can I remember, without laughing, the innocent ad-
miration, not without a spice of envy, with which we poor
girls, whose church-going clothes did not rise above dowlass
shifts and stuff gowns, beheld Esther's scowered satin gowns, 
caps border'd with an inch of lace, taudry ribbons, and shoes
belaced with silver: all which we imagined grew in London,
and entered for a great deal into my determination of trying
to come in for my share of them.

     The idea however of having the company of a townswoman
with her, was the trivial, and all the motives that engaged 
Esther to take charge of me during my journey to town, where
she told me, after her manner and style, "as how several 
maids out of the country had made themselves and all their
kin for ever: that by preserving their VIRTUE, some had taken
so with their masters, that they had married them, and kept
them coaches, and lived vastly grand and happy; and some,
may-hap, came to be Duchesses; luck was all, and why not I,
as well as another?"; with other almanacs to this purpose,
which set me a tip-toe to begin this promising journey, and
to leave a place which, though my native one, contained no
relations that I had reason to regret, and was grown insup-
portable to me, from the change of the tenderest usage into
a cold air of charity, with which I was entertain'd even at
the only friend's house that I had the least expectation of
care and protection from.  She was, however, so just to me,
as to manage the turning into money of the little matters
that remained to me after the debts and burial charges were
accounted for, and, at my departure, put my whole fortune 
into my hands; which consisted of a very slender wardrobe,
pack'd up in a very portable box, and eight guineas, with
seventeen shillings in silver; stowed up in a spring-pouch,
which was a greater treasure than ever I had yet seen to-
gether, and which I could not conceive there was a possi-
bility of running out; and indeed, I was so entirely taken
up with the joy of seeing myself mistress of such an im-
mense sum, that I gave very little attention to a world of
good advice which was given me with it.

     Places, then, being taken for Esther and me in the
London waggon, I pass over a very immaterial scene of 
leavetaking, at which I dropt a few tears betwixt grief and
joy; and, for the same reasons of insignificance, skip over
all that happened to me on the road, such as the waggoner's
looking liquorish on me, the schemes laid for me by some of
the passengers, which were defeated by the vigilance of my
guardian Esther; who, to do her justice, took a motherly 
care of me, at the same time that she taxed me for her pro-
tection by making me bear all travelling charges, which I
defrayed with the utmost cheerfulness, and thought myself
much obliged to her into the bargain.

     She took indeed great care that we were not over-rated,
or imposed on, as well as of managing as frugally as possible;
expensiveness was not her vice.

     It was pretty late in a summer evening when we reached 
London-town, in our slow conveyance, though drawn by six at
length.  As we passed through the greatest streets that led
to our inn, the noise of the coaches, the hurry, the crowds
of foot passengers, in short, the new scenery of the shops 
and houses, at once pleased and amazed me.

     But guess at my mortification and surprize when we 
came to the inn, and our things were landed and deliver'd
to us, when my fellow traveller and protectress, Esther
Davis, who had used me with the utmost tenderness during
the journey, and prepared me by no preceding signs for the
stunning blow I was to receive, when I say, my only depend-
ence and friend, in this strange place, all of a sudden 
assumed a strange and cool air towards me, as if she dreaded
my becoming a burden to her.

     Instead, then, of proffering me the continuance of her
assistance and good offices, which I relied upon, and never
more wanted, she thought herself, it seems, abundantly ac-
quitted of her engagements to me, by having brought me safe
to my journey's end; and seeing nothing in her procedure 
towards me but what was natural and in order, began to em-
brace me by way of taking leave, whilst I was so confounded,
so struck, that I had not spirit or sense enough so much as
to mention my hopes or expectations from her experience, and
knowledge of the place she had brought me to.

     Whilst I stood thus stupid and mute, which she doubt-
less attributed to nothing more than a concern at parting,
this idea procured me perhaps a slight alleviation of it,
in the following harangue:  That now we were got safe to
London, and that she was obliged to go to her place, she
advised me by all means to get into one as soon as possible;
that I need not fear getting one; there were more places
than parish-churches; that she advised me to go to an
intelligence office; that if she heard of any thing stirring,
she would find me out and let me know; that in the meantime,
I should take a private lodging, and acquaint her where to
send to me; that she wish'd me good luck, and hoped I should
always have the grace to keep myself honest, and not bring a
disgrace on my parentage.  With this, she took her leave of
me, and left me, as it were, on my own hands, full as
lightly as I had been put into hers.

     Left thus alone, absolutely destitute and friendless,
I began then to feel most bitterly the severity of this
separation, the scene of which had passed in a little room
in the inn; and no sooner was her back turned, but the af-
fliction I felt at my helpless strange circumstances burst
out into a flood of tears, which infinitely relieved the
oppression of my heart; though I still remained stupefied,
and most perfectly perplex'd how to dispose of myself.

     One of the waiters coming in, added yet more to my
uncertainty by asking me, in a short way, if I called for
anything? to which I replied innocently:  "No."  But I
wished him to tell me where I might get a lodging for that
night.  He said he would go and speak to his mistress, who
accordingly came, and told me drily, without entering in
the least into the distress she saw me in, that I might have
a bed for a shilling, and that, as she supposed I had some
friends in town (here I fetched a deep sigh in vain!) I
might provide for myself in the morning.

     'Tis incredible what trifling consolations the human
mind will seize in its greatest afflictions.  The assurance
of nothing more than a bed to lie on that night, calmed my
agonies; and being asham'd to acquaint the mistress of the
inn that I had no friends to apply to in town, I proposed
to myself to proceed, the very next morning, to an intelli-
gence office, to which I was furnish'd with written direc-
tions on the back of a ballad Esther had given me.  There I
counted on getting information of any place that such a
country girl as I might be fit for, and where I could get
into any sort of being, before my little stock should be
consumed; and as to a character, Esther had often repeated
to me that I might depend on her managing me one; nor, how-
ever affected I was at her leaving me thus, did I entirely
cease to rely on her, as I began to think, good-naturedly,
that her procedure was all in course, and that it was only 
my ignorance of life that had made me take it in the light
I at first did.

     Accordingly, the next morning I dress'd myself as clean
and as neat as my rustic wardrobe would permit me; and
having left my box, with special recommendation, with the
landlady, I ventured out by myself, and without any more
difficulty than can be supposed of a young country girl,
barely fifteen, and to whom every sign or shop was a gazing
trap, I got to the wish'd-for intelligence office.

     It was kept by an elderly woman, who sat at the
receipt of custom, with a book before her in great form and
order, and several scrolls, ready made out, of directions
for places.

     I made up then to this important personage, without
lifting up my eyes or observing any of the people round me,
who were attending there on the same errand as myself, and
dropping her curtsies nine-deep, just made a shift to
stammer out my business to her.

     Madam having heard me out, with all the gravity and
brow of a petty minister of State, and seeing at one glance
over my figure what I was, made me no answer, but to ask
me the preliminary shilling, on receipt of which she told
me places for women were exceedingly scarce, especially as
I seemed too slight built for hard work; but that she
would look over her book, and see what was to be done for
me, desiring me to stay a little till she had dispatched
some other customers.

     On this I drew back a little, most heartily mortified
at a declaration which carried with it a killing uncertainty
that my circumstances could not well endure.

     Presently, assuming more courage, and seeking some di-
version from my uneasy thoughts, I ventured to lift up my
head a little, and sent my eyes on a course round the room,
wherein they met full tilt with those of a lady (for such
my extreme innocence pronounc'd her) sitting in a corner of
the room, dress'd in a velvet mantle (nota bene, in the 
midst of summer), with her bonnet off; squab-fat, red-faced,
and at least fifty.

     She look'd as if she would devour me with her eyes,
staring at me from head to foot, without the least regard
to the confusion and blushes her eyeing me so fixedly put
me to, and which were to her, no doubt, the strongest re-
commendation and marks of my being fit for her purpose.
After a little time, in which my air, person and whole
figure had undergone a strict examination, which I had, on
my part, tried to render favourable to me, by primming,
drawing up my neck, and setting my best looks, she advanced
and spoke to me with the greatest demureness:

     "Sweet-heart, do you want a place?"

     "Yes, and please you" (with a curtsy down to the 
ground).

     Upon this she acquainted me that she was actually 
come to the office herself to look out for a servant; that
she believed I might do, with a little of her instructions;
that she could take my very looks for a sufficient character;
that London was a very wicked, vile place; that she hoped I
would be tractable, and keep out of bad company; in short, 
she said all to me that an old experienced practitioner in
town could think of, and which was much more than was neces-
sary to take in an artless inexperienced country-maid, who
was even afraid of becoming a wanderer about the streets,
and therefore gladly jump'd at the first offer of a shelter,
especially from so grave and matron-like a lady, for such my
flattering fancy assured me this new mistress of mine was;
I being actually hired under the nose of the good woman that
kept the office, whose shrewd smiles and shrugs I could not 
help observing, and innocently interpreted them as marks of
her being pleased at my getting into place so soon; but, as
I afterwards came to know, these BELDAMS understood one an-
other very well, and this was a market where Mrs. Brown, my
mistress, frequently attended, on the watch for any fresh
goods that might offer there, for the use of her customers,
and her own profit.

     Madam was, however, so well pleased with her bargain, 
that fearing, I presume, lest better advice or some accident
might occasion my slipping through her fingers, she would
officiously take me in a coach to my inn, where, calling 
herself for my box, it was, I being present, delivered with-
out the least scruple or explanation as to where I was going.

     This being over, she bid the coachman drive to a shop
in St. Paul's Churchyard, where she bought a pair of gloves,
which she gave me, and thence renewed her directions to the
coachman to drive to her house in *** street, who accord-
ingly landed us at her door, after I had been cheer'd up and
entertain'd by the way with the most plausible flams, without
one syllable from which I could conclude anything but that I
was, by the greatest good luck, fallen into the hands of the
kindest mistress, not to say friend, that the varsal world
could afford; and accordingly I enter'd her doors with most
compleat confidence and exultation, promising myself that,
as soon as I should be a little settled, I would acquaint
Esther Davis with my rare good fortune.

     You may be sure the good opinion of my place was not
lessen'd by the appearance of a very handsome back parlour,
into which I was led and which seemed to me magnificently
furnished, who had never seen better rooms than the ordi-
nary ones in inns upon the road.  There were two gilt pier-
glasses, and a buffet, on which a few pieces of plates, set
out to the most shew, dazzled, and altogether persuaded me
that I must be got into a very reputable family.

     Here my mistress first began her part, with telling me
that I must have good spirits, and learn to be free with
her; that she had not taken me to be a common servant, to
do domestic drudgery, but to be a kind of companion to her;
and that if I would be a good girl, she would do more than
twenty mothers for me; to all which I answered only by the
profoundest and the awkwardest curtsies, and a few mono-
syllables, such as "yes! no! to be sure!"

     Presently my mistress touch'd the bell, and in came a
strapping maid-servant, who had let us in.  "Here, Martha,"
said Mrs. Brown--"I have just hir'd this young woman to
look after my linen; so step up and shew her her chamber;
and I charge you to use her with as much respect as you 
would myself, for I have taken a prodigious liking to her,
and I do not know what I shall do for her."

     Martha, who was an arch-jade, and, being used to this
decoy, had her cue perfect, made me a kind of half curtsy,
and asked me to walk up with her; and accordingly shew'd 
me a neat room, two pair of stairs backwards, in which 
there was a handsome bed, where Martha told me I was to 
lie with a young gentlewoman, a cousin of my mistress's,
who she was sure would be vastly good to me.  Then she ran
out into such affected encomiums on her good mistress! her
sweet mistress! and how happy I was to light upon her!
that I could not have bespoke a better; with other the
like gross stuff, such as would itself have started sus-
picions in any but such an unpractised simpleton, who was
perfectly new to life, and who took every word she said in
the very sense she laid out for me to take it; but she
readily saw what a penetration she had to deal with, and
measured me very rightly in her manner of whistling to me,
so as to make me pleased with my cage, and blind to the 
wires.

     In the midst of these false explanations of the nature
of my future service, we were rung for down again, and I was
reintroduced into the same parlour, where there was a table
laid with three covers; and my mistress had now got with her
one of her favourite girls, a notable manager of her house,
and whose business it was to prepare and break such young
fillies as I was to the mounting-block; and she was accord-
ingly, in that view, allotted me for a bed-fellow; and, to
give her the more authority, she had the title of cousin con-
ferr'd on her by the venerable president of this college.

     Here I underwent a second survey, which ended in the full
approbation of Mrs. Phoebe Ayres, the name of my tutoress
elect, to whose care and instructions I was affectionately 
recommended.

     Dinner was now set on table, and in pursuance of treating
me as a companion, Mrs. Brown, with a tone to cut off all 
dispute, soon over-rul'd my most humble and most confused
protestations against sitting down with her LADYSHIP, which
my very short breeding just suggested to me could not be
right, or in the order of things.

     At table, the conversation was chiefly kept up by the
two madams, and carried on in double-meaning expressions,
interrupted every now and then by kind assurance to me, all
tending to confirm and fix my satisfaction with my present 
condition: augment it they could not, so very a novice was
I then.

     It was here agreed that I should keep myself up and
out of sight for a few days, till such cloaths could be 
procured for me as were fit for the character I was to
appear in, of my mistress's companion, observing withal,
that on the first impressions of my figure much might
depend; and, as they well judged, the prospect of ex-
changing my country cloaths for London finery, made the
clause of confinement digest perfectly well with me.  But
the truth was, Mrs. Brown did not care that I should be
seen or talked to by any, either of her customers, or her
DOES (as they call'd the girls provided for them), till
she had secured a good market for my maidenhead, which I
had at least all the appearances of having brought into her
LADYSHIP'S service.

     To slip over minutes of no importance to the main of my
story, I pass the interval to bed-time, in which I was more
and more pleas'd with the views that opened to me, of an 
easy service under these good people; and after supper being
shew'd up to bed, Miss Phoebe, who observed a kind of reluc-
tance in me to strip and go to bed, in my shift, before her,
now the maid was withdrawn, came up to me, and beginning with
unpinning my handkerchief and gown, soon encouraged me to go
on with undressing myself; and, still blushing at now seeing
myself naked to my shift, I hurried to get under the bed-
cloaths out of sight.  Phoebe laugh'd and was not long before
she placed herself by my side.  She was about five and twenty,
by her most suspicious account, in which, according to all
appearances, she must have sunk at least ten good years; 
allowance, too, being made for the havoc which a long course
of hackneyship and hot waters must have made of her consti-
tution, and which had already brought on, upon the spur, 
that stale stage in which those of her profession are re-
duced to think of SHOWING company, instead of SEEING it.

     No sooner then was this precious substitute of my
mistress's laid down, but she, who was never out of her way
when any occasion of lewdness presented itself, turned to
me, embraced and kiss'd me with great eagerness.  This was
new, this was odd; but imputing it to nothing but pure kind-
ness, which, for aught I knew, it might be the London way 
to express in that manner, I was determin'd not to be behind
hand with her, and returned her the kiss and embrace, with 
all the fervour that perfect innocence knew.

     Encouraged by this, her hands became extremely free,
and wander'd over my whole body, with touches, squeezes,
pressures, that rather warm'd and surpriz'd me with their
novelty, than they either shock'd or alarm'd me.

     The flattering praises she intermingled with these in-
vasions, contributed also not a little to bribe my passive-
ness; and, knowing no ill, I feared none, especially from 
one who had prevented all doubt of her womanhood by conduct-
ing my hands to a pair of breasts that hung loosely down,
in a size and volume that full sufficiently distinguished
her sex, to me at least, who had never made any other com-
parison...

     I lay then all tame and passive as she could wish, whilst
her freedom raised no other emotions but those of a strange,
and, till then, unfelt pleasure.  Every part of me was open 
and exposed to the licentious courses of her hands, which,
like a lambent fire, ran over my whole body, and thaw'd all
coldness as they went.

     My breasts, if it is not too bold a figure to call so
two hard, firm, rising hillocks, that just began to shew them-
selves, or signify anything to the touch, employ'd and amus'd
her hands a-while, till, slipping down lower, over a smooth
track, she could just feel the soft silky down that had but a
few months before put forth and garnish'd the mount-pleasant
of those parts, and promised to spread a grateful shelter over
the seat of the most exquisite sensation, and which had been,
till that instant, the seat of the most insensible innocence.
Her fingers play'd and strove to twine in the young tendrils 
of that moss, which nature has contrived at once for use and
ornament.

     But, not contented with these outer posts, she now 
attempts the main spot, and began to twitch, to insinuate,
and at length to force an introduction of a finger into the
quick itself, in such a manner, that had she not proceeded
by insensible gradations that inflamed me beyond the power of
modesty to oppose its resistance to their progress, I should
have jump'd out of bed and cried for help against such strange
assaults.

     Instead of which, her lascivious touches had lighted up
a new fire that wanton'd through all my veins, but fix'd with
violence in that center appointed them by nature, where the
first strange hands were now busied in feeling, squeezing,
compressing the lips, then opening them again, with a finger
between, till an "Oh!" express'd her hurting me, where the
narrowness of the unbroken passage refused it entrance to any
depth.

     In the meantime, the extension of my limbs, languid
stretchings, sighs, short heavings, all conspired to assure
that experienced wanton that I was more pleased than offended
at her proceedings, which she seasoned with repeated kisses
and exclamations, such as "Oh! what a charming creature thou
art! . . . What a happy man will he be that first makes a 
woman of you! . . . Oh! that I were a man for your sake! ...
with the like broken expressions, interrupted by kisses as
fierce and fervent as ever I received from the other sex.

     For my part, I was transported, confused, and out of
myself; feelings so new were too much for me.  My heated 
and alarm'd senses were in a tumult that robbed me of all
liberty of thought; tears of pleasure gush'd from my eyes,
and somewhat assuaged the fire that rag'd all over me.

     Phoebe, herself, the hackney'd, thorough-bred Phoebe, 
to whom all modes and devices of pleasure were known and
familiar, found, it seems, in this exercise of her art to
break young girls, the gratification of one of those arbi-
trary tastes, for which there is no accounting.  Not that
she hated men, or did not even prefer them to her own sex;
but when she met with such occasions as this was, a satiety
of enjoyments in the common road, perhaps too, a secret
bias, inclined her to make the most of pleasure, wherever
she could find it, without distinction of sexes.  In this
view, now well assured that she had, by her touches, suf-
ficiently inflamed me for her purpose, she roll'd down
the bed-cloaths gently, and I saw myself stretched nak'd,
my shift being turned up to my neck, whilst I had no power
or sense to oppose it.  Even my glowing blushes expressed
more desire than modesty, whilst the candle, left (to be
sure not undesignedly) burning, threw a full light on my
whole body.

     "No!" says Phoebe, "you must not, my sweet girl, think
to hide all these treasures from me.  My sight must be
feasted as well as my touch . . . I must devour with my 
eyes this springing BOSOM . . . Suffer me to kiss it . . .
I have not seen it enough . . . Let me kiss it once more
. . . What firm, smooth, white flesh is here! . . . How
delicately shaped! . . . Then this delicious down!  Oh!
let me view the small, dear, tender cleft! . . . This is
too much, I cannot bear it! . . . I must . . . I must . . ."
Here she took my hand, and in a transport carried it where
you will easily guess.  But what a difference in the state
of the same thing! . . . A spreading thicket of bushy curls
marked the full-grown, complete woman.  Then the cavity to 
which she guided my hand easily received it; and as soon as
she felt it within her, she moved herself to and fro, with
so rapid a friction that I presently withdrew it, wet and
clammy, when instantly Phoebe grew more composed, after two
or three sighs, and heart-fetched Oh's! and giving me a
kiss that seemed to exhale her soul through her lips, she
replaced the bed-cloaths over us.  What pleasure she had
found I will not say; but this I know, that the first sparks
of kindling nature, the first ideas of pollution, were 
caught by me that night; and that the acquaintance and 
communication with the bad of our own sex, is often as fatal
to innocence as all the seductions of the other.  But to go
on.  When Phoebe was restor'd to that calm, which I was far
from the enjoyment of myself, she artfully sounded me on all
the points necessary to govern the designs of my virtuous
mistress on me, and by my answers, drawn from pure undis-
sembled nature, she had no reason but to promise herself all
imaginable success, so far as it depended on my ignorance,
easiness, and warmth of constitution.

     After a sufficient length of dialogue, my bedfellow left
me to my rest, and I fell asleep, through pure weariness from
the violent emotions I had been led into, when nature (which
had been too warmly stir'd and fermented to subside without
allaying by some means or other) relieved me by one of those
luscious dreams, the transports of which are scarce inferior
to those of waking real action.   

     We breakfasted, and the tea things were scarce removed,
when in were brought two bundles of linen and wearing apparel:
in short, all the necessaries for rigging me out, as they
termed it, completely.

     In the morning I awoke about ten, perfectly gay and 
refreshed.  Phoebe was up before me, and asked me in the
kindest manner how I did, how I had rested, and if I was
ready for breakfast, carefully, at the same time, avoiding
to increase the confusion she saw I was in, at looking her
in the face, by any hint of the night's bed scene.  I told
her if she pleased I would get up, and begin any work she
would be pleased to set me about.  She smil'd; presently
the maid brought in the tea-equipage, and I had just hud-
dled my cloaths on, when in waddled my mistress.  I expected
no less than to be told of, if not chid for, my late rising,
when I was agreeably disappointed by her compliments on my
pure and fresh looks.  I was "a bud of beauty" (this was her
style), "and how vastly all the fine men would admire me!" 
to all which my answer did not, I can assure you, wrong my
breeding; they were as simple and silly as they could wish,
and, no doubt, flattered them infinitely more than had they
proved me enlightened by education and a knowledge of the
world.

     Imagine to yourself, Madam, how my little coquette
heart flutter'd with joy at the sight of a white lute-string,
flower'd with silver, scoured indeed, but passed on me for
spick-and-span new, a Brussels lace cap, braided shoes, and
the rest in proportion, all second-hand finery, and procured
instantly for the occasion, by the diligence and industry of
the good Mrs. Brown, who had already a chapman for me in the
house, before whom my charms were to pass in review; for he
had not only, in course, insisted on a previous sight of the
premises, but also on immediate surrender to him, in case of
his agreeing for me; concluding very wisely that such a place
as I was in was of the hottest to trust the keeping of such
a perishable commodity in as a maidenhead.

     The care of dressing, and tricking me out for the 
market, was then left to Phoebe, who acquitted herself, if
not well, at least perfectly to the satisfaction of every
thing but my impatience of seeing myself dress'd.  When it
was over, and I view'd myself in the glass, I was, no doubt,
too natural, too artless, to hide my childish joy at the
change; a change, in the real truth, for much the worse,
since I must have much better become the neat easy simplicity
of my rustic dress than the awkward, untoward, taudry finery
that I could not conceal my strangeness to.

     Phoebe's compliments, however, in which her own share
in dressing me was not forgot, did not a little confirm me
in the first notions I had ever entertained concerning my
person; which, be it said without vanity, was then tolerable
to justify a taste for me, and of which it may not be out of
place here to sketch you an unflatter'd picture.

     I was tall, yet not too tall for my age, which, as I
before remark'd, was barely turned of fifteen; my shape 
perfectly straight, thin waisted, and light and free, without
owing any thing to stays; my hair was a glossy auburn, and
as soft as silk, flowing down my neck in natural buckles, and
did not a little set off the whiteness of a smooth skin; my
face was rather too ruddy, though its features were delicate,
and the shape a roundish oval, except where a pit on my chin
had far from a disagreeable effect; my eyes were as black as 
can be imagin'd, and rather languishing than sparkling, ex-
cept on certain occasions, when I have been told they struck
fire fast enough; my teeth, which I ever carefully perserv'd,
were small, even and white; my bosom was finely rais'd, and
one might then discern rather the promise, than the actual
growth, of the round, firm breasts, that in a little time
made that promise good.  In short, all the points of beauty
that are most universally in request, I had, or at least my
vanity forbade me to appeal from the decision of our sove-
reign judges the men, who all, that I ever knew at least, 
gave it thus highly in my favour; and I met with, even in
my own sex, some that were above denying me that justice,
whilst others praised me yet more unsuspectedly, by endea-
vouring to detract from me, in points of person and figure
that I obviously excelled in.  This is, I own, too strong of
self praise; but should I not be ungrateful to nature, and 
to a form to which I owe such singular blessings of pleasure
and fortune, were I to suppress, through and affectation of
modesty, the mention of such valuable gifts?

     Well then, dress'd I was, and little did it then enter
into my head that all this gay attire was no more than deck-
ing the victim out for sacrifice, whilst I innocently attri-
buted all to mere friendship and kindness in the sweet good
Mrs. Brown; who, I was forgetting to mention, had, under
pretence of keeping my money safe, got from me, without the
least hesitation, the driblet (so I now call it) which re-
mained to me after the expences of my journey.

     After some little time most agreeably spent before the 
glass, in scarce self-admiration, since my new dress had by
much the greatest share in it, I was sent for down to the
parlour, where the old lady saluted me, and wished me joy
of my new cloaths, which she was not asham'd to say, fitted
me as if I had worn nothing but the finest all my life-time;
but what was it she could not see me silly enough to swallow?
At the same time, she presented me to another cousin of her
own creation, an elderly gentleman, who got up, at my entry
into the room, and on my dropping a curtsy to him, saluted
me, and seemed a little affronted that I had only presented
my cheek to him; a mistake, which, if one, he immediately
corrected, by glewing his lips to mine, with an ardour which
his figure had not at all disposed me to thank him for; his
figure, I say, than which nothing could be more shocking or
detestable: for ugly, and disagreeable, were terms too gentle
to convey a just idea of it.

     Imagine to yourself a man rather past threescore, short
and ill-made, with a yellow cadaverous hue, great goggling
eyes that stared as if he was strangled; and out-mouth from
two more properly tusks than teeth, livid-lips, and breath
like a jake's: then he had a peculiar ghastliness in his grin
that made him perfectly frightful, if not dangerous to women
with child; yet, made as he was thus in mock of man, he was
so blind to his own staring deformities as to think himself
born for pleasing, and that no woman could see him with im-
punity: in consequence of which idea, he had lavish'd great
sums on such wretches as could gain upon themselves to pre-
tend love to his person, whilst to those who had not art or
patience to dissemble the horror it inspir'd, he behaved 
even brutally.  Impotence, more than necessity, made him
seek in variety the provocative that was wanting to raise
him to the pitch of enjoyment, which too he often saw him-
self baulked of, by the failure of his powers: and this
always threw him into a fit of rage, which he wreak'd, as
far as he durst, on the innocent objects of his fit of
momentary desire.

     This then was the monster to which my conscientious
benefactress, who had long been his purveyor in this way,
had doom'd me, and sent for me down purposely for his ex-
amination.  Accordingly she made me stand up before him,
turn'd me round, unpinn'd my handkerchief, remark'd to him
the rise and fall, the turn and whiteness of a bosom just
beginning to fill; then made me walk, and took even a han-
dle from the rusticity of my gait, to inflame the inventory
of my charms: in short, she omitted no point of jockeyship;
to which he only answer'd by gracious nods of approbation,
whilst he look'd goats and monkies at me: for I sometimes
stole a corner glance at him, and encountering his fiery,
eager stare, looked another way from pure horror and af-
fright, which he, doubtless in character, attributed to
nothing more than maiden modesty, or at least the affec-
tation of it.

     However, I was soon dismiss'd, and reconducted to my
room by Phoebe, who stuck close to me, not leaving me alone
and at leisure to make such reflections as might naturally
rise to any one, not an idiot, on such a scene as I had just
gone through; but to my shame be it confess'd, such was my
invincible stupidity, or rather portentous innocence, that 
I did not yet open my eyes to Mrs. Brown's designs, and saw
nothing in this titular cousin of hers but a shocking hide-
ous person which did not at all concern me, unless that my
respect to all her cousinhood.

     Phoebe, however, began to sift the state and pulses of
my heart towards this monster, asking me how I should approve
of such a fine gentleman for a husband?  (fine gentleman, I
suppose she called him, from his being daubed with lace).  I
answered her very naturally, that I had no thoughts of a hus-
band, but that if I was to choose one, it should be among my
own degree, sure!  So much had my aversion to that wretch's
hideous figure indisposed me to all "fine gentlemen," and
confounded my ideas, as if those of that rank had been neces-
sarily cast in the same mould that he was!  But Phoebe was
not to be beat off so, but went on with her endeavours to
melt and soften me for the purposes of my reception into that
hospitable house: and whilst she talked of the sex in general,
she had no reason to despair of a compliance, which more than
one reason shewed her would be easily enough obtained of me;
but then she had too much experience not to discover that my
particular fix'd aversion to that frightful cousin would be a
block not so readily to be removed, as suited the consum-
mation of their bargain, and sale of me.

     Mother Brown had in the mean time agreed the terms with
this liquorish old goat, which I afterwards understood were
to be fifty guineas peremptory for the liberty of attempting
me, and a hundred more at the compleat gratification of his
desires, in the triumph over my virginity: and as for me, I
was to be left entirely at the discretion of his liking and
generosity.  This unrighteous contract being thus settled,
he was so eager to be put in possession, that he insisted 
on being introduc'd to drink tea with me that afternoon, 
when we were to be left alone; nor would he hearken to the
procuress's remonstrances, that I was not sufficiently pre-
pared and ripened for such an attack; that I was too green
and untam'd, having been scarce twenty-four hours in the
house: it is the character of lust to be impatient, and his
vanity arming him against any supposition of other than the
common  resistance of a maid on those occasions, made him 
reject all proposals of a delay, and my dreadful trial was
thus fix'd, unknown to me, for that very evening.

     At dinner, Mrs. Brown and Phoebe did nothing but run
riot in praises of this wonderful cousin, and how happy
that woman would be that he would favour with his addresses;
in short my two gossips exhausted all their rhetoric to
persuade me to accept them: "that the gentleman was violently
smitten with me at first sight . . . that he would make my
fortune if I would be a good girl and not stand in my own
light . . . that I should trust his honour . . . that I
should be made for ever, and have a chariot to go abroad in
. . . ," with all such stuff as was fit to turn the head of
such a silly ignorant girl as I then was: but luckily here
my aversion had taken already such deep root in me, my heart
was so strongly defended from him by my senses, that wanting
the art to mask my sentiments, I gave them no hopes of their
employer's succeeding, at least very easily, with me.  The
glass too march'd pretty quick, with a view, I suppose, to
make a friend of the warmth of my constitution, in the
minutes of the imminent attack.

     Thus they kept me pretty long at table, and about six
in the evening, after I was retired to my own apartment, and
the tea board was set, enters my venerable mistress, follow'd
close by that satyr, who came in grinning in a way peculiar
to him, and by his odious presence confirm'd me in all the
sentiments of detestation which his first appearance had
given birth to.

     He sat down fronting me, and all tea time kept ogling
me in a manner that gave me the utmost pain and confusion,
all the marks of which he still explained to be my bash-
fulness, and not being used to see company.

     Tea over, the commoding old lady pleaded urgent busi-
ness (which indeed was true) to go out, and earnestly desir'd
me to entertain her cousin kindly till she came back, both
for my own sake and her's; and then with a "Pray, sir, be
very good, be very tender of the sweet child," she went out
of the room, leaving me staring, with my mouth open, and un-
prepar'd, by the suddenness of her departure, to oppose it.

     We were now alone; and on that idea a sudden fit of 
trembling seiz'd me.  I was so afraid, without a precise
notion of why, and what I had to fear, that I sat on the
settee, by the fire-side, motionless, and petrified, with-
out life or spirit, not knowing how to look or how to stir.

     But long I was not suffered to remain in this state of
stupefaction: the monster squatted down by me on the settee,
and without farther ceremony or preamble, flings his arms
about my neck, and drawing me pretty forcibly towards him,
oblig'd me to receive, in spite of my struggles to disengage
from him, his pestilential kisses, which quite overcame me.
Finding me then next to senseless, and unresisting, he tears
off my neck handkerchief, and laid all open there to his
eyes and hands: still I endur'd all without flinching, till
embolden'd by my sufferance and silence, for I had not the
power to speak or cry out, he attempted to lay me down on 
the settee, and I felt his hand on the lower part of my
naked thighs, which were cross'd, and which he endeavoured
to unlock . . . Oh then!  I was roused out of my passive
endurance, and springing from him with an activity he was
not prepar'd for, threw myself at his feet, and begg'd him,
in the most moving tone, not to be rude, and that he would
not hurt me:--"Hurt you, my dear?" says the brute; "I intend
you no harm . . . has not the old lady told you that I love
you? . . . that I shall do handsomely by you?"  "She has
indeed, sir," said I; "but I cannot love you, indeed I can
not! . . . pray let me alone . . .  yes! I will love you
dearly if you will let me alone, and go away . . . "  But I
was talking to the wind; for whether my tears, my attitude,
or the disorder of my dress prov'd fresh incentives, or
whether he was not under the dominion of desires he could
not bridle, but snorting and foaming with lust and rage, he
renews his attack, seizes me, and again attempts to extend
and fix me on the settee: in which he succeeded so far as to
lay me along, and even to toss my petticoats over my head,
and lay my thighs bare, which I obstinately kept close, nor
could he, though he attempted with his knee to force them
open, effect it so as to stand fair for being master of the
main avenue; he was unbuttoned, both waistcoat and breeches,
yet I only felt the weight of his body upon me, whilst I lay
struggling with indignation, and dying with terror; but he
stopped all of a sudden, and got off, panting, blowing, curs-
ing, and repeating "old and ugly!" for so I had very natur-
ally called him in the heat of my defence.

     The brute had, it seems, as I afterwards understood,
brought on, by his eagerness and struggle, the ultimate
period of his hot fit of lust, which his power was too short
liv'd to carry him through the full execution of; of which
my thighs and linen received the effusion.

     When it was over he bid me, with a tone of displeasure,
get up, saying that he would not do me the honour to think
of me any more . . . that the old bitch might look out for
another cully . . . that he would not be fool'd so by e'er
a country mock modesty in England . . . that he supposed I
had left my maidenhead with some hobnail in the country,
and was come to dispose of my skin-milk in town, with a
volley of the like abuse; which I listened to with more
pleasure than ever fond woman did to protestations of love
from her darling minion: for, incapable as I was of re-
ceiving any addition to my perfect hatred and aversion to
him, I look'd on this railing as my security against his
renewing his most odious caresses.

     Yet, plain as Mrs. Brown's views were now come out, I
had not the heart or spirit to open my eyes to them: still
I could not part with my dependence on that beldam, so
much did I think myself her's, soul and body: or rather, I
sought to deceive myself with the continuation of my good
opinion of her, and chose to wait the worst at her hands
sooner than be turn'd out to starve in the streets, with-
out a penny of money or a friend to apply to: these fears
were my folly.

     Whilst this confusion of ideas was passing in my head,
and I sat pensive by the fire, with my eyes brimming with 
tears, my neck still bare, and my cap fall'n off in the 
struggle, so that my hair was in the disorder you may guess,
the villain's lust began, I suppose, to be again in flow, at
the sight of all that bloom of youth which presented itself
to his view, a bloom yet unenjoy'd, and of course not yet
indifferent to him.

     After some pause, he ask'd me, with a tone of voice
mightily softened, whether I would make it up with him
before the old lady returned and all should be well; he
would restore me his affections, at the same time offering
to kiss me and feel my breasts.  But now my extreme aver-
sion, my fears, my indignation, all acting upon me, gave me
a spirit not natural to me, so that breaking loose from him,
I ran to the bell and rang it, before he was aware, with
such violence and effect as brought up the maid to know what
was the matter, or whether the gentleman wanted any thing;
and before he could proceed to greater extremities, she
bounc'd into the room, and seeing me stretch'd on the floor,
my hair all dishevell'd, my nose gushing out blood, which 
did not a little tragedize the scene, and my odious per-
secutor still intent of pushing his brutal point, unmoved by
all my cries and distress, she was herself confounded and
did not know what to say.

     As much, however, as Martha might be prepared and 
hardened to transactions of this sort, all womanhood must
have been out of her heart, could she have seen this un-
mov'd.  Besides that, on the face of things, she imagined
that matters had gone greater lengths than they really
had, and that the courtesy of the house had been actually
consummated on me, and flung me into the condition I was
in: in this notion she instantly took my part, and advis'd
the gentleman to go down and leave me to recover myself,
and "that all would be soon over with me . . . that when
Mrs. Brown and Phoebe, who were gone out, were return'd,
they would take order for every thing to his satisfaction
. . . that nothing would be lost by a little patience with
the poor tender thing . . . that for her part she was . . .
frighten'd . . . she could not tell what to say to such
doings . . . but that she would stay by me till my mistress
came home."  As the wench said all this in a resolute tone,
and the monster himself began to perceive that things would
not mend by his staying, he took his hat and went out of 
the room, murmuring, and pleating his brows like an old ape,
so that I was delivered from the horrors of his detestable
presence.

     As soon as he was gone, Martha very tenderly offered
me her assistance in any thing, and would have got me some
hartshorn drops, and put me to bed; which last, I at first
positively refused, in the fear that the monster might re-
turn and take me at that advantage.  However, with much
persuasion, and assurances that I should not be molested
that night, she prevailed on me to lie down; and indeed I
was so weakened by my struggles, so dejected by my fearful
apprehensions, so terror-struck, that I had not power to
sit up, or hardly to give answers to the questions with
which the curious Martha ply'd and perplex'd me.

     Such too, and so cruel was my fate, that I dreaded 
the sight of Mrs. Brown, as if I had been the criminal
and she the person injur'd; a mistake which you will not
think so strange, on distinguishing that neither virtue
nor principles had the least share in the defence I had
made, but only the particular aversion I had conceiv'd
against the first brutal and frightful invader of my
tender innocence.

     I pass'd then the time till Mrs. Brown's return home, 
under all the agitations of fear and despair that may 
easily be guessed.

                           PART 2

     About eleven at night my two ladies came home, and hav-
ing receiv'd rather a favourable account from Martha, who
had run down to let them in, for Mr. Crofts (that was the
name of my brute) was gone out of the house, after waiting
till he had tired his patience for Mrs. Brown's return, they
came thundering up-stairs, and seeing me pale, my face
bloody, and all the marks of the most thorough dejection,
they employed themselves more to comfort and re-inspirit me,
than in making me the reproaches I was weak enough to fear,
I who had so many juster and stronger to retort upon them.

     Mrs. Brown withdrawn, Phoebe came presently to bed to
me, and what with the answers she drew from me, what with
her own method of palpably satisfying herself, she soon dis-
covered that I had been more frighted than hurt; upon which
I suppose, being herself seiz'd with sleep, and reserving
her lectures and instructions till the next morning, she
left me, properly speaking, to my unrest; for, after tossing
and turning the greatest part of the night, and tormenting
myself with the falsest notions and apprehensions of things,
I fell, through mere fatigue, into a kind of delirious doze,
out of which I waded late in the morning, in a violent fever:
a circumstance which was extremely critical to reprieve me,
at least for a time, from the attacks of a wretch infinitely
more terrible to me than death itself.

     The interested care that was taken of me during my ill-
ness, in order to restore me to a condition of making good
the bawd's engagements, or of enduring further trials, and
however such an effect on my grateful disposition, that I
even thought myself oblig'd to my undoers for their atten-
tion to promote my recovery; and, above all, for the keeping
out of my sight of that brutal ravisher, the author of my
disorder, on their finding I was too strongly mov'd at the
bare mention of his name.

     Youth is soon raised, and a few days were sufficient to
conquer the fury of my fever: but, what contributed most to
my perfect recovery and to my reconciliation with life, was
the timely news that Mr. Crofts, who was a merchant of con-
siderable dealings, was arrested at the King's suit, for 
nearly forty thousand pounds, on account of his driving a
certain contraband trade, and that his affairs were so des-
perate that even were it in his inclination, it would not
be in his power to renew his designs upon me: for he was
instantly thrown into a prison, which it was not likely he
would get out of in haste.

     Mrs. Brown, who had touched his fifty guineas, advanc'd
to so little purpose, and lost all hopes of the remaining
hundred, began to look upon my treatment of him with a more
favourable eye; and as they had observ'd my temper to be
perfectly tractable and conformable to their views, all the
girls that compos'd her flock were suffered to visit me, and
had their cue to dispose me, by their conversation, to a
perfect resignation of myself to Mrs. Brown's direction.

     Accordingly they were let in upon me, and all that
frolic and thoughtless gaiety in which those giddy creatures
consume their leisure made me envy a condition of which I 
only saw the fair side; insomuch, that the being one of them
became even my ambitionP a disposition which they all care-
fully cultivated; and I wanted now nothing but to restore my
health, that I might be able to undergo the ceremony of the
initiation.

     Conversation, example, all, in short, contributed, in
that house, to corrupt my native purity, which had taken no
root in education; whilst not the inflammable principal of
pleasure, so easily fired at my age, made strange work
within me, and all the modesty I was brought up in the
habit, not the instruction of, began to melt away like dew
before the sun's heat; not to mention that I made a vice of
necessity, from the constant fears I had of being turn'd
out to starve.

     I was soon pretty well recover'd, and at certain hours
allow'd to range all over the house, but cautiously kept
from seeing any company till the arrival of Lord B . . .,
from Bath, to whom Mrs. Brown, in respect to his experi-
enced generosity on such occasions, proposed to offer the 
perusal ot that trinket of mine, which bears so great an
imaginary value; and his lordship being expected in town
in less than a fortnight, Mrs. Brown judged I would be
entirely renewed in beauty and freshness by that time, and
afford her the chance of a better bargain than she had
driven with Mr. Crofts.

     In the meantime, I was so thoroughly, as they call it,
brought over, so tame to their whistle, that, had my cage
door been set open, I had no idea that I ought to fly any-
where, sooner than stay where I was; nor had I the least
sense of regretting my condition, but waited very quietly
for whatever Mrs. Brown should order concerning me; who on
her side, by herself and her agents, took more than the
necessary precautions to lull and lay asleep all just re-
flections on my destination.

     Preachments of morality over the left shoulder; a life
of joy painted in the gayest colours; caresses, promises,
indulgent treatment: nothing, in short, was wanting to do-
mesticate me entirely and to prevent my going out anywhere
to get better advice.  Alas!  I dream'd of no such thing.

     Hitherto I had been indebted only to the girls of the
house for the corruption of my innocence: their luscious
talk, in which modesty was far from respected, their des-
cription of their engagements with men, had given me a 
tolerable insight into the nature and mysteries of their
profession, at the same time that they highly provok'd an
itch of florid warm-spirited blood through every vein: but
above all, my bed-fellow Phoebe, whose pupil I more immedi-
ately was, exerted her talents in giving me the first
tinctures of pleasure: whilst nature, now warm'd and wan-
toned with discoveries so interesting, piqu'd a curiosity
which Phoebe artfully whetted, and leading me from question
to question of her own suggestion, explain'd to me all the
mysteries of Venus.  But I could not long remain in such a 
house as that, without being an eye-witness of more than I
could conceive from her descriptions.

     One day, about twelve at noon, being thoroughly re-
cover'd of my fever, I happen'd to be in Mrs. Brown's dark
closet, where I had not been half an hour, resting upon the
maid's settle-bed, before I heard a rustling in the bed-
chamber, separated from the closet only by two sash-doors,
before the glasses of which were drawn two yellow damask
curtains, but not so close as to exclude the full view of 
the room form any person in the closet.

     I instantly crept softly, and posted myself so, that 
seeing every thing minutely, I could not myself be seen; 
and who should come in but the venerable mother Abbess
herself! handed in by a tall, brawny young Horse-grenadier,
moulded in the Hercules style: in fine, the choice of the
most experienced dame, in those affairs, in all London.

     Oh! how still and hush did I keep at my stand, lest
any noise should baulk my curiosity, of bring Madam into
the closet!

     But I had not much reason to fear either, for she was
so entirely taken up with her present great concern, that
she had no sense of attention to spare to any thing else.

     Droll was it to see that clumsy fat figure of hers flop
down on the foot of the bed, opposite to the closet-door, so
that I had a full front-view of all her charms.

     Her paramour sat down by her: he seemed to be a man of
very few words, and a great stomach; for proceeding instant-
ly to essentials, he gave her some hearty smacks, and thrust-
ing his hands into her breasts, disengag'd them from her
stays, in scorn of whose confinement they broke loose, and
swagged down, navel-low at least.  A more enormous pair did
my eyes never behold, nor of a worse colour, flagging-soft,
and most lovingly contiguous: yet such as they were, this
neck-beef eater seem'd to paw them with a most uninvitable
gust, seeking in vain to confine or cover one of them with a
hand scarce less than a shoulder of mutton.  After toying
with them thus some time, as if they had been worth it, he
laid her down pretty briskly, and canting up her petticoats,
made barely a mask of them to her broad red face, that
blush'd with nothing but brandy.

     As he stood on one side, for a minute or so, unbutton-
ing his waist-coat and breeches, her fat, brawny thighs hung
down, and the whole greasy landscape lay fairly open to my
view; a wide open-mouth'd gap, overshaded with a grizzly
bush, seemed held out like a beggar's wallet for its pro-
vision.

     But I soon had my eyes called off by a more striking
object, that entirely engross'd them.

     Her sturdy stallion had now unbutton'd, and produced
naked, stiff, and erect, that wonderful machine, which I
had never seen before, and which, for the interest my own
seat of pleasure began to take furiously in it, I star'd at
with all the eyes I had: however, my senses were too much
flurried, too much concenter'd in that now burning spot of
mine, to observe any thing more than in general the make
and turn of that instrument, from which the instinct of
nature, yet more than all I had heard of it, now strongly
informed me I was to expect that supreme pleasure which she
had placed in the meeting of those parts so admirably fitted
for each other.

     Long, however, the young spark did not remain before
giving it two or three shakes, by way of brandishing it; he
threw himself upon her, and his back being now towards me, I
could only take his being ingulph'd for granted, by the di-
rections he mov'd in, and the impossibility of missing so 
staring a mark; and now the bed shook, the curtains rattled
so, that I could scarce hear the sighs and murmurs, the
heaves and pantings that accompanied the action, from the
beginning to the end; the sound and sight of which thrill'd 
to the very soul of me, and made every vein of my body cir-
culate liquid fires: the emotion grew so violent that it 
almost intercepted my respiration.

     Prepared then, and disposed as I was by the discourse
of my companions, and Phoebe's minute detail of everything,
no wonder that such a sight gave the last dying blow to my
native innocence.

     Whilst they were in the heat of the action, guided by 
nature only, I stole my hand up my petticoats, and with 
fingers all on fire, seized, and yet more inflamed that 
center of all my senses: my heart palpitated, as if it
would force its way through my bosom; I breath'd with pain;
I twisted my thighs, squeezed, and compressed the lips of
that virgin slit, and following mechanically the example of 
Phoebe's manual operation on it, as far as I could find
admission, brought on at last the critical extasy, the
melting flow, into which nature, spent with excess of
pleasure, dissolves and dies away.

     After which, my senses recover'd coolness enough to 
observe the rest of the transaction between this happy
pair.

     The young fellow had just dismounted, when the old
lady immediately sprung up, with all the vigour of youth,
derived, no doubt, from her late refreshment; and making
him sit down, began in her turn to kiss him, to pat and
pinch his cheeks, and play with his hair: all which he
receiv'd with an air of indifference and coolness, that
shew'd him to me much altered from what he was when he
first went on to the breach.

     My pious governess, however, not being above calling
in auxiliaries, unlocks a little case of cordials that 
stood near the bed, and made him pledge her in a very
plentiful dram: after which, and a little amorous parley,
Madam sat herself down upon the same place, at the bed's
foot; and the young fellow standing sideway by her, she,
with the greatest effrontery imaginable, unbuttons his
breeches, and removing his shirt, draws out his affair, so
shrunk and diminish'd, that I could not but remember the
difference, now crestfallen, or just faintly lifting its
head: but our experienc'd matron very soon, by chafing it
with her hands, brought it to swell to that size and erec-
tion I had before seen it up to.

     I admired then, upon a fresh account, and with a nicer
survey, the texture of that capital part of man: the flam-
ing red head as it stood uncapt, the whiteness of the
shaft, and the shrub growth of curling hair that embrowned
the roots of it, the roundish bag that dangled down from
it, all exacted my eager attention, and renewed my flame. 
But, as the main affair was now at the point the industrious
dame had laboured to bring it to, she was not in the humour
to put off the payment of her pains, but laying herself
down, drew him gently upon her, and thus they finish'd in
the same manner as before, the old last act.

     This over, they both went out lovingly together, the 
old lady having first made him a present, as near as I
could observe, of three or four pieces; he being not only 
her particular favourite on account of his performances, 
but a retainer to the house; from whose sight she had taken
great care hitherto to secrete me, lest he might not have
had patience to wait for my lord's arrival, but have in-
sisted on being his taster, which the old lady was under
too much subjection to him to dare dispute with him; for
every girl of the house fell to him in course, and the old
lady only now and then got her turn, in consideration of 
the maintenance he had, and which he could scarce be
accused of not earning from her.

     As soon as I heard them go down-stairs, I stole up 
softly to my own room, out of which I had luckily not been
miss'd; there I began to breathe freer, and to give a loose
to those warm emotions which the sight of such an encounter
had raised in me.  I laid me down on the bed, stretched
myself out, joining and ardently wishing, and requiring any
means to divert or allay the rekindled rage and tumult of 
my desires, which all pointed strongly to their pole: man.
I felt about the bed as if I sought for something that I
grasp'd in my waking dream, and not finding it, could have
cry'd for vexation; every part of me glowing with stimul-
ating fires.  At length, I resorted to the only present
remedy, that of vain attempts at digitation, where the
smallness of the theatre did not yet afford room enough for
action, and where the pain my fingers gave me, in striving
for admission, tho' they procured me a slight satisfaction
for the present, started an apprehension, which I could not
be easy till I had communicated to Phoebe, and received her
explanations upon it.

     The opportunity, however, did not offer till next
morning, for Phoebe did not come to bed till long after
I was gone to sleep.  As soon then as we were both awake,
it was but in course to bring our ly-a-bed chat to land on
the subject of my uneasiness: to which a recital of the 
love scene I had thus, by chance, been spectatress of,
serv'd for a preface.

     Phoebe could not hear it to the end without more than
one interruption by peals of laughter, and my ingenuous way
of relating matters did not a little heighten the joke to 
her.

     But, on her sounding me how the sight had affected me,
without mincing or hiding the pleasurable emotions it had
inspir'd me with, I told her at the same time that one re-
mark had perplex'd me, and that very considerably.
---"Aye!" say she, "what was that?" --- "Why," replied I,
"having very curiously and attentively compared the size of
that enormous machine, which did not appear, at least to my
fearful imagination, less than my wrist, and at least three 
of my handfuls long, to that of the tender small part of me
which was framed to receive it, I can not conceive its being
possible to afford it entrance without dying, perhaps in the
greatest pain, since you well know that even a finger thrust
in there hurts me beyond bearing . . . As to my mistress's
and yours, I can plainly distinguish the different dimen-
sions of them from mine, palpable to the touch, and visible
to the eye; so that, in short, great as the promis'd plea-
sure may be, I am afraid of the pain of the experiment."

     Phoebe at this redoubled her laugh, and whilst I ex-
pected a very serious solution of my doubts and apprehen-
sions in this matter, only told me that she never heard of
a mortal wound being given in those parts by that terrible
weapon, and that some she knew younger, and as delicately
made as myself, had outlived the operation; that she be-
lieved, at the worst, I should take a great deal of kill-
ing; that true it was, there was a great diversity of sizes
in those parts, owing to nature, child-bearing, frequent
over-stretching with unmerciful machines, but that at a 
certain age and habit of body, even the most experienc'd in
those affairs could not well distinguish between the maid
and the woman, supposing too an absence of all artifice,
and things in their natural situation: but that since
chance had thrown in my way one sight of that sort, she
would procure me another, that should feast my eyes more 
delicately, and go a great way in the cure of my fears from
that imaginary disproportion.

     On this she asked me if I knew Polly Philips.  "Un-
doubtedly," says I, "the fair girl which was so tender of
me when I was sick, and has been, as you told me, but two
months in the house.":  "The same," says Phoebe.  "You must
know then, she is kept by a young Genoese merchant, whom
his uncle, who is immensely rich, and whose darling he is,
sent over here with an English merchant, his friend, on a
pretext of settling some accounts, but in reality to humour
his inclinations for travelling, and seeing the world.  He
met casually with this Polly once in company, and taking a
liking to her, makes it worth her while to keep entirely to
him.  He comes to her here twice or thrice a week, and she
receives him in her light closet up one pair of stairs,
where he enjoys her in a taste, I suppose, peculiar to the
heat, or perhaps the caprices of his own country.  I say no
more, but to-morrow being his day, you shall see what passes
between them, from a place only known to your mistress and
myself."

     You may be sure, in the ply I was now taking, I had no
objection to the proposal, and was rather a tip-toe for its
accomplishment.

     At five in the evening, next day, Phoebe, punctual to 
her promise, came to me as I sat alone in my own room, and
beckon'd me to follow her.

     We went down the back-stairs very softly, and opening
the door of a dark closet, where there was some old furni-
ture kept, and some cases of liquor, she drew me in after
her, and fastening the door upon us, we had no light but
what came through a long crevice in the partition between
ours and the light closet, where the scene of action lay;
so that sitting on those low cases, we could, with the 
greatest ease, as well as clearness, see all objects (our-
selves unseen), only by applying our eyes close to the cre-
vice, where the moulding of a panel had warped, or started
a little on the other side.

     The young gentleman was the first person I saw, with
his back directly towards me, looking at a print.  Polly
was not yet come: in less than a minute tho', the door 
opened, and she came in; and at the noise the door made he
turned about, and came to meet her, with an air of the 
greatest tenderness and satisfaction.

     After saluting her, he led her to a couch that fronted
us, where they both sat down, and the young Genoese help'd
her to a glass of wine, with some Naples bisket on a salver.

     Presently, when they had exchanged a few kisses, and
questions in broken English on one side, he began to un-
button, and, in fine, stript to his shirt.

     As if this had been the signal agreed on for pulling
off all their cloaths, a scheme which the heat of the season
perfectly favoured, Polly began to draw her pins, and as she
had no stays to unlace, she was in a trice, with her gallant's
officious assistance, undress'd to all but her shift.

     When he saw this, his breeches were immediately loos-
en'd, waist and knee bands, and slipped over his ankles,
clean off; his shirt collar was unbuttoned too: then, first
giving Polly an encouraging kiss, he stole, as it were, the
shift off the girl, who being, I suppose, broke and fami-
liariz'd to this humour, blush'd indeed, but less than I
did at the apparition of her, now standing stark-naked,
just as she came out of the hands of pure nature, with her
black hair loose and a-float down her dazzling white neck
and shoulders, whilst the deepen'd carnation of her cheeks
went off gradually into the hue of glaz'd snow: for such
were the blended tints and polish of her skin.

     This girl could not be above eighteen: her face re-
gular and sweet-featur'd, her shape exquisite; nor could I
help envying her two ripe enchanting breasts, finely plump'd
out in flesh, but withal so round, so firm, that they sus-
tain'd themselves, in scorn of any stay: then their nipples,
pointing different ways, mark'd their pleasing separation;
beneath them lay the delicious tract of the belly, which
terminated in a parting or rift scarce discernible, that
modesty seem'd to retire downwards, and seek shelter be-
tween two plump fleshy thighs: the curling hair that over-
spread its delightful front, cloathed it with the richest
sable fur in the universe: in short, she was evidently a
subject for the painters to court her sitting to them for 
a pattern of female beauty, in all the true price and pomp
of nakedness.

     The young Italian (still in his shirt) stood gazing
and transported at the sight of beauties that might have
fir'd a dying hermit; his eager eyes devour'd her, as she
shifted attitudes at his discretion: neither were his hands
excluded their share of the high feast, but wander'd, on 
the hunt of pleasure, over every part and inch of her body,
so qualified to afford the most exquisite sense of it.

     In the mean time, one could not help observing the 
swell of his shirt before, that bolster'd out, and shewed
the condition of things behind the curtain: but he soon
remov'd it, by slipping his shirt over his head; and now,
as to nakedness, they had nothing to reproach one another.

     The young gentleman, by Phoebe's guess, was about two
and twenty; tall and well limb'd.  His body was finely
form'd and of a most vigorous make, square-shoulder'd, and
broad-chested: his face was not remarkable in any way, but
for a nose inclining to the Roman, eyes large, black, and
sparkling, and a ruddiness in his cheeks that was the more
a grace, for his complexion was of the brownest, not of that
dusky dun colour which excludes the idea of freshness, but
of that clear, olive gloss which, glowing with life, dazzles
perhaps less than fairness, and yet pleases more, when it
pleases at all.  His hair, being too short to tie, fell no
lower than his neck, in short easy curls; and he had a few
sprigs about his paps, that garnish'd his chest in a style
of strength and manliness.  Then his grand movement, which
seem'd to rise out of a thicket of curling hair that spread
from the root all round thighs and belly up to the navel,
stood stiff and upright, but of a size to frighten me, by
sympathy, for the small tender part which was the object of
its fury, and which now lay expos'd to my fairest view; for
he had, immediately on stripping off his shirt, gently
push'd her down on the couch, which stood conveniently to
break her willing fall.  Her thighs were spread out to their
utmost extension, and discovered between them the mark of
the sex, the red-center'd cleft of flesh, whose lips, ver-
milioning inwards, exprest a small rubid line in sweet
miniature, such as Guido's touch of colouring could never
attain to the life or delicacy of.

     Phoebe, at this gave me a gentle jog, to prepare me for
a whispered question: whether I thought my little maidenhead
was much less?  But my attention was too much engross'd, too
much enwrapp'd with all I saw, to be able to give her any
answer.

     By this time the young gentleman had changed her pos-
ture from lying breadth to length-wise on the couch: but her
thighs were still spread, and the mark lay fair for him, who
now kneeling between them, display'd to us a side-view of
that fierce erect machine of his, which threaten'd no less
than splitting the tender victim, who lay smiling at the up-
lifted stroke, nor seem'd to decline it.  He looked upon his 
weapon himself with some pleasure, and guiding it with his
hand to the inviting slit, drew aside the lips, and lodg'd 
it (after some thrusts, which Polly seem'd even to assist)
about half way; but there it stuck, I suppose from its grow-
ing thickness: he draws it again, and just wetting it with
spittle, re-enters, and with ease sheath'd it now up to the
hilt, at which Polly gave a deep sigh, which was quite
another tone than one of pain; he thrusts, she heaves, at
first gently, and in a regular cadence; but presently the
transport began to be too violent ot observe any order or
measure; their motions were too rapid, their kisses too
fierce and fervent for nature to support such fury long:
both seem'd to me out of themselves: their eyes darted
fires:  "Oh! . . . oh! . . . I can't bear it . . . It is
too much . . . I die . . . I am going . . ." were Polly's
expressions of extasy: his joys were more silent; but soon
broken murmurs, sighs heart-fetch'd, and at length a dis-
patching thrust, as if he would have forced himself up her
body, and then motionless languor of all his limbs, all 
shewed that the die-away moment was come upon him; which
she gave signs of joining with, by the wild throwing of her
hands about, closing her eyes, and giving a deep sob, in 
which she seemed to expire in an agony of bliss.

     When he had finish'd his stroke, and got from off her, 
she lay still without the least motion, breathless, as it
should seem, with pleasure.  He replaced her again breadth-
wise on the couch, unable to sit up, with her thighs open,
between which I could observe a kind of white liquid, like
froth, hanging about the outward lips of that recently 
opened wound, which now glowed with a deeper red.  Pre-
sently she gets up, and throwing her arms round him, seemed
far from undelighted with the trial he had put her to, to
judge at least by the fondness with which she ey'd and hung
upon him.

     For my part, I will not pretend to describe what I
felt all over me during this scene; but from that instant,
adieu all fears of what man could do unto me; they were now
changed into such ardent desires, such ungovernable longings,
that I could have pull'd the first of that sex that should
present himself, by the sleeve, and offered him the bauble,
which I now imagined the loss of would be a gain I could not
too soon procure myself.

     Phoebe, who had more experience, and to whom such
sights were not so new, could not however be unmoved at so
warm a scene; and drawing me away softly from the peep-hole,
for fear of being over-heard, guided me as near the door as
possible, all passive and obedient to her least signals.

     Here was no room either to sit or lie, but making me
stand with my back towards the door, she lifted up my
petticoats, and with her busy fingers fell to visit and 
explore that part of me where now the heat and irritations
were so violent that I was perfectly sick and ready to die
with desire; that the bare touch of her finger, in that
critical place, had the effect of a fire to a train, and
her hand instantly made her sensible to what a pitch I was
wound up, and melted by the sight she had thus procured me.
Satisfied then with her success in allaying a heat that
would have made me impatient of seeing the continuation of
the transactions between our amourous couple, she brought me
again to the crevice so favourable to our curiosity.

     We had certainly been but a few instants away from it,
and yet on our return we saw every thing in good forwardness
for recommencing the tender hostilities.

     The young foreigner was sitting down, fronting us, on
the couch, with Polly upon one knee, who had her arms round
his neck, whilst the extreme whiteness of her skin was not
undelightfully contrasted by the smooth glossy brown of her
lover's.

     But who could count the fierce, unnumber's kisses given
and taken? in which I could of ten discover their exchanging
the velvet thrust, when both their mouths were double ton-
gued, and seemed to favour the mutual insertion with the
greatest gust and delight.

     In the mean time, his red-headed champion, that has so
lately fled the pit, quell'd and abash'd, was now recover'd
to the top of his condition, perk'd and crested up between
Polly's thighs, who was not wanting, on her part, to coax
and deep it in good humour, stroking it, with her head down,
and received even its velvet tip between the lips of not its
proper mouth: whether she did this out of any particular
pleasure, or whether it was to render it more glib and easy
of entrance, I could not tell; but it had such an effect,
that the young gentleman seem'd by  his eyes, that sparkled
with more excited lustre, and his inflamed countenance, to
receive increase of pleasure.  He got up, and taking Polly
in his arms, embraced her, and said something too softly for
me to hear, leading her withal to the foot of the couch, and
taking delight to slap her thighs and posteriors with that
stiff sinew of his, which hit them with a spring that he
gave it with his hand, and made them resound again, but hurt
her about as much as he meant to hurt her, for she seemed to
have as frolic a taste as himself.

     But guess my surprise, when I saw the lazy young rogue
lie down on his back, and gently pull down Polly upon him,
who giving way to his humour, straddled, and with her hands
conducted her blind favourite to the right place; and fol-
lowing her impulse, ran directly upon the flaming point of
this weapon of pleasure, which she stak'd herself upon, up
pierc'd and infix'd to the extremest hair-breadth of it: 
thus she sat on him a few instants, enjoying and relishing
her situation, whilst he toyed with her provoking breasts.
Sometimes she would stoop to meet his kiss: but presently
the sting of pleasure spurr'd them up to fiercer action;
then began the storm of heaves, which, form the undermost 
combatant, were thrusts at the same time, he crossing his
hands over her, and drawing her home to him with a sweet
violence: the inverted strokes of anvil over hammer soon
brought on the critical period, in which all the signs of a
close conspiring extasy informed us of the point they were
at.

     For me, I could bear to see no more; I was so overcome,
so inflamed at the second part of the same play, that, mad
to an intolerable degree, I hugg'd, I clasped Phoebe, as if
she had wherewithal to relieve me.  Pleased however with, and
pitying the taking she could feel me in, she drew me towards
the door, and opening it as softly as she could, we both got
off undiscover'd, and she reconducted me to my own room, 
where, unable to keep my legs, in the agitation I was in, I
instantly threw myself down on the bed, where I lay trans-
ported, though asham'd at what I felt.

     Phoebe lay down by me, and ask'd me archly if, now that
I had seen the enemy, and fully considered him, I was still
afraid of him? or did I think I could venture to come to a 
close engagement with him?  To all which, not a word on my
side; I sigh'd, and could scarce breathe.  She takes hold of
my hand, and having roll'd up her own petticoats, forced it 
half strivingly towards those parts, where, now grown more
knowing, I miss'd the main object of my wishes; and finding
not even the shadow of what I wanted, where every thing was
so flat, or so hollow, in the vexation I was in at it, I 
should have withdrawn my hand but for fear of disobliging
her.  Abandoning it then entirely to her management, she
made use of it as she thought proper, to procure herself
rather the shadow than the substance of any pleasure.  For
my part, I now pin'd for more solid food, and promis'd
tacitly to myself that I would not be put off much longer
with this foolery from woman to woman, if Mrs. Brown did
not soon provide me with the essential specific.  In short,
I had all the air of not being able to wait the arrival of
my lord B . . . tho' he was now expected in a very few days:
nor did I wait for him, for love itself took charge of the
disposal of me, in spite of interest, or gross lust.

     It was now two days after the closet-scene, that I got
up about six in the morning, and leaving my bed-fellow fast
asleep, stole down, with no other thought than of taking a
little fresh air in a small garden, which our back-parlour
open'd into, and from which my confinement debarr'd me at
the times company came to the house; but now sleep and
silence reign'd all over it.

     I open'd the parlour door, and well surpriz'd was I at
seeing, by the side of a fire half-our, a young gentleman in
the old lady's elbow chair, with his legs laid upon another,
fast asleep, and left there by his thoughtless companions,
who had drank him down, and then went off with every one his
mistress, whilst he stay'd behind by the courtesy of the old
matron, who would not disturb of turn him out in that con-
dition, at one in the morning; and beds, it is more than
probable, there were none to spare.  On the table still re-
main'd the punch bowl and glasses, strew's about in their
usual disorder after a drunken revel.

      But when I drew nearer, to view the sleeping one, 
heavens! what a sight!  No! no term of years, no turn of
fortune could ever erase the lightning-like impression
his form made on me . . . Yes! dearest object of my ear-
liest passion, I command for ever the remembrance of thy
first appearance to my ravish'd eyes . . . it calls thee
up, present; and I see thee now!

     Figure to yourself, Madam, a fair stripling, between
eighteen and nineteen, with his head reclin'd on one of the
sides of the chair, his hair in disorder'd curls, irregular-
ly shading a face on which all the roseate bloom of youth
and all the manly graces conspired to fix my eyes and heart.
Even the languor and paleness of his face, in which the
momentary triumph of the lily over the rose was owing to the
excesses of the night, gave an inexpressible sweetness to 
the finest features imaginable: his eyes, closed in sleep, 
displayed the meeting edges of their lids beautifully bor-
dered with long eyelashes; over which no pencil could have
described two more regular arches than those that grac'd his
forehead, which was high, prefectly white and smooth.  Then
a pair of vermilion lips, pouting and swelling to the touch,
as if a bee had freshly stung them, seem'd to challenge me
to get the gloves off this lovely sleeper, had not the mod-
esty and respect, which in both sexes are inseparable from
a true passion, check'd my impulses.

     But on seeing his shirt-collar unbutton'd, and a bosom
whiter than a drift of snow, the pleasure of considering it
could not bribe me to lengthen it, at the hazard of a health
that began to be my life's concern.  Love, that made me
timid, taught me to be tender too.  With a trembling hand I
took hold of one of his, and waking his as gently as possi-
ble, he started, and looking, at first a little wildly, said
with a voice that sent its harmonious sound to my heart: 
"Pray, child, what o'clock is it?"  I told him, and added
that he might catch cold if he slept longer with his breast
open in the cool of the morning air.  On this he thanked me
with a sweetness perfectly agreeing with that of his fea-
tures and eyes; the last now broad open, and eagerly sur-
veying me, carried the sprightly fires they sparkled with
directly to my heart.
     It seems that having drank too freely before he came
upon the rake with some of his young companions, he had put
himself out of a condition to go through all the weapons
with them, and crown the night with getting a mistress; so
that seeing me in a loose undress, he did not doubt but I
was one of the misses of the house, sent in to repair his
loss of time; but though he seiz'd that notion, and a very
obvious one it was, without hesitation, yet, whether my
figure made a more than ordinary impression on him, or
whether it was natural politeness, he address'd me in a
manner far from rude, tho' still on the foot of one of the
house pliers, come to amuse him; and giving me the first
kiss that I ever relish'd from man in my life, ask'd me it
I could favour him with my company, assuring me that he
would make it worth my while: but had not even new-born
love, that true refiner of lust, oppos'd so sudden a sur-
render, the fear of being surpriz'd by the house was a
sufficient bar to my compliance.

     I told him then, in a tone set me by love itself, that
for reasons I had not time to explain to him, I could not 
stay with him, and might not even ever see him again: with
a sigh at these last words, which broke from the bottom of
my heart.  My conqueror, who, as he afterwards told me, had
been struck with my appearance, and lik'd me as much as he
could think of liking any one in my suppos'd way of life,
ask'd me briskly at once if I would be kept by him, and that
he would take a lodging for me directly, and relieve me from
any engagements he presum'd I might be under to the house.
Rash, sudden, undigested, and even dangerous as this offer
might be from a perfect stranger, and that stranger a giddy
boy, the prodigious love I was struck with for him had put a
charm into his voice there was no resisting, and blinded me
to every objection; I could, at that instant, have died for
him: think if I could resist an invitation to live with him!
Thus my heart, beating strong to the proposal, dictated my
answer, after scarce a minute's pause, that I would accept 
of his offer, and make my escape to him in what way he
pleased, and that I would be entirely at his disposal, let
it be good or bad.  I have often since wondered that so
great an easiness did not disgust him, or make me too cheap
in his eyes, but my fate had so appointed it, that in his
fears of the hazard of the town, he had been some time
looking out for a girl to take into keeping, and my person
happening to hit his fancy, it was by one of those miracles
reserved to love that we struck the bargain in the instant,
which we sealed by an exchange of kisses, that the hopes of
a more uninterrupted enjoyment engaged him to content him-
self with.

     Never, however, did dear youth carry in his person, 
more wherewith to justify the turning of a girl's head, and
making her set all consequences at defiance for the sake of
following a gallant.

     For, besides all the perfections of manly beauty which
were assembled in his form, he had an air of neatness and 
gentility, a certain smartness in the carriage and port of
his head, that yet more distinguish'd him; his eyes were
sprightly and full of meaning; his looks had in them some-
thing at once sweet and commanding.  His complexion out-
bloom'd the lovely-colour'd rose, whilst its inimitable
tender vivid glow clearly sav'd from the reproach of want-
ing life, of raw and dough-like, which is commonly made to
those so extremely fair as he was.

     Our little plan was that I should get out about seven
the next morning (which I could readily promise, as I knew
where to get the key of the street-door), and he would wait
at the end of the street with a coach to convey me safe off;
after which, he would send, and clear any debt incurr'd by 
my stay at Mrs. Brown's, who, he only judged, in gross, 
might not care to part with one he thought so fit to draw
custom to the house.

     I then just hinted to him not to mention in the house
his having seen such a person as me, for reasons I would
explain to him more at leisure.  And then, for fear of 
miscarrying, by being seen together, I tore myself from
him with a bleeding heart, and stole up softly to my room,
where I found Phoebe still fast asleep, and hurrying off my
few cloaths, lay down by her, with a mixture of joy and
anxiety that may be easier conceived than express'd.  

     The risks of Mrs. Brown's discovering my purpose, of
disappointments, misery, ruin, all vanish'd before this new-
kindl'd flame.  The seeing, the touching, the being, if but
for a night, with this idol of my fond virgin-heart, appeared
to me a happiness above the purchase of my liberty or life.
He might use me ill, let him! he was the master; happy, too
happy, even to receive death at so dear a hand.

     To this purpose were the reflections of the whole day,
of which every minute seem'd to me a little eternity.  How
often did I visit the clock! nay, was tempted to advance 
the tedious hand, as if that would have advanc'd the time 
with it!  Had those of the house made the least observations
on me, they must have remark'd something extraordinary from
the discomposure I could not help betraying; especially when
at dinner mention was made of the charmingest youth having
been there, and stay'd breakfast.  "Oh! he was such a beauty!
. . . I should have died for him! . . . they would pull caps
for him! . . ." and the like fooleries, which, however, was
throwing oil on a fire I was sorely put to it to smother the
blaze of.

     The fluctuations of my mind, the whole day, produc'd
one good effect: which was, that, through mere fatigue, I
slept tolerably well till five in the morning, when I got up,
and having dress'd myself, waited, under the double tortures
of fear and impatience, for the appointed hour.  It came at 
last, the dear, critical, dangerous hour came; and now, sup-
ported only by the courage love lent me, I ventured, a tip-
toe, down-stairs, leaving my box behind, for fear of being
surpriz'd with it in going out.

     I got to the street-door, the key whereof was always
laid on the chair by our bed-side, in trust with Phoebe, who
having not the least suspicion of my entertaining any design
to go from them (nor indeed had I but the day before), made
no reserve or concealment of it from me.  I open'd the door
with great ease; love, that embolden'd, protected me too:
and now, got safe into the street, I saw my new guardian-
angel waiting at a coach-door, ready open.  How I got to him
I know not: I suppose I flew; but I was in the coach in a
trice, and he by the side of me, with his arms clasp'd round
me, and giving me the kiss of welcome.  The coachman had his
orders, and drove to them.

     My eyes were instantly fill'd with tears, but tears of 
the most delicious delight; to find myself in the arms of 
that beauteous youth was a rapture that my little heart swam
in.  Past or future were equally out of the question with 
me.  The present was as much as all my powers of life were
sufficient to bear the transport of, without fainting.  Nor
were the most tender embraces, the most soothing expressions
wanting on his side, to assure me of his love, and of never
giving me cause to repent the bold step I had taken, in
throwing myself thus entirely upon his honour and generosity.
But, alas! this was no merit in me, for I was drove to it by
a passion too impetuous for me to resist, and I did what I
did because I could not help it.

     In an instant, for time was now annihilated with me, we
landed at a public house in Chelsea, hosipitably commodious
for the reception of duet-parties of pleasure, where a break-
fast of chocolate was prepared for us.

     An old jolly stager, who kept it, and understood life
perfectly well, breakfasted with us, and leering archly at
me, gave us both joy, and said we were well paired, i' faith!
that a great many gentlemen and ladies used his house, but he
had never seen a handsomer couple . . . he was sure I was a
fresh piece . . . I look'd so country, so innocent! well my
spouse was a lucky man! . . . all which common landlord's
cant not only pleas'd and sooth'd me, but help'd to divert
my confusion at being with my new sovereign, whom, now the
minute approach'd, I began to fear to be alone with: a
timidity which true love had a greater share in than even
maiden bashfulness.

     I wish'd, I doted, I could have died for him; and yet,
I know not how, or why, I dreaded the point which had been
the object of my fiercest wishes; my pulses beat fears,
amidst a flush of the warmest desires.  This struggle of the
passions, however, this conflict betwixt modesty and love-
sick longings, made me burst again into tears; which he took,
as he had done before, only for the remains of concern and
emotion at the suddenness of my change of condition, in com-
mitting myself to his care; and, in consequence of that idea,
did and said all that he thought would most comfort and re-
inspirit me.

     After breakfast, Charles (the dear familiar name I must
take the liberty henceforward to distinguish my Adonis by),
with a smile full of meaning, took me gently by the hand, and
said:  "Come, my dear, I will show you a room that commands a
fine prospect over some gardens"; and without waiting for an
answer, in which he relieved me extremely, he led me up into
a chamber, airy and light-some, where all seeing of prospects
was out of the question, except that of a bed, which had all
the air of having recommended the room to him.

     Charles had just slipp'd the bolt of the door, and run-
ning, caught me in his arms, and lifting me from the ground,
with his lips glew'd to mine, bore me, trembling, panting,
dying, with soft fears and tender wishes, to the bed; where
his impatience would not suffer him to undress me, more than
just unpinning my handkerchief and gown, and unlacing my
stays.

     My bosom was now bare, and rising in the warmest throbs,
presented to his sight and feeling the firm hard swell of a
pair of young breasts, such as may be imagin'd of a girl not
sixteen, fresh out of the country, and never before handled;
but even their pride, whiteness, fashion, pleasing resistance
to the touch, could not bribe his restless hands from roving;
but giving them the loose, my petticoats and shift were soon
taken up, and their stronger center of attraction laid open
to their tender invasion.  My fears, however, made me mechan-
ically close my thighs; but the very touch of his hand insin-
uated between them, disclosed them and opened a way for the
main attack.

     In the mean time, I lay fairly exposed to the examina-
tion of his eyes and hands, quiet and unresisting; which 
confirm'd him the opinion he proceeded so cavalierly upon,
that I was no novice in these matters, since he had taken
me out of a common bawdy-house, nor had I said one thing to
prepossess him of my virginity; and if I had, he would 
sooner have believ'd that I took him for a cully that would
swallow such an improbability, than that I was still mis-
tress of that darling treasure, that hidden mine, so eagerly
sought after by the men, and which they never dig for, but
to destroy.

     Being now too high wound up to bear a delay, he un-
button'd, and drawing out the engine of love-assaults, drove
it currently, as at a ready-made breach . . . Then! then!
for the first time, did I feel that stiff horn-hard gristle,
battering against the tender part; but imagine to yourself
his surprize when he found, after several vigorous pushes
which hurt me extremely, that he made not the least im-
pression. 

     I complain'd but tenderly complain'd that I could not
bear it . . . indeed he hurt me! . . . Still he thought no
more than that being so young, the largeness of his machine
(for few men could dispute size with him) made all the dif-
iculty; and that possible I had not been enjoy'd by any so
advantageously made in that part as himself: for still,
that my virgin flower was yet uncrop'd, never enter'd into
his head, and he would have thought it idling with time and
words to have question'd me upon it.

     He tries again, still no admittance, still no penetra-
tion; but he had hurt me yet more, whilst my extreme love 
made me bear extreme pain, almost without a groan.  At
length, after repeated fruitless trials, he lay down panting
by me, kiss'd my falling tears, and asked me tenderly what 
was the meaning of so much complaining? and if I had not
borne it better from others than I did from him? I answered,
with a simplicity fram'd to persuade, that he was the first
man that ever serv'd me so.  Truth is powerful, and it is
not always that we do not believe what we eagerly wish.

                        Part 3

     Charles, already dispos'd by the evidence of his senses
to think my pretences to virginity not entirely apocryphal,
smothers me with kisses, begs me, in the name of love, to
have a little patience, and that he will be as tender of
hurting me as he would be of himself.

     Alas! it was enough I knew his pleasure to submit joy-
fully to him, whatever pain I foresaw it would cost me.

     He now resumes his attempts in more form: first, he put
one of the pillows under me, to give the blank of his aim a
more favourable elevation, and another under my head, in
ease of it; then spreading my thighs, and placing himself
standing between them, made them rest upon his hips; apply-
ing then the point of his machine to the slit, into which he
sought entrance: it was so small, he could scarce assure
himself of its being rightly pointed.  He looks, he feels,
and satisfies himself: the driving forward with fury, its
prodigious stiffness, thus impacted, wedgelike, breaks the
union of those parts, and gain'd him just the insertion of
the tip of it, lip-deep; which being sensible of, he improv-
ed his advantage, and following well his stroke, in a
straight line, forcibly deepens his penetration; but put me
to such intolerable pain, from the separation of the sides
of that soft passage by a hard thick body, I could have
scream'd out; but, as I was unwilling to alarm the house, I
held in my breath, and cramm'd my petticoat, which was
turn'd up over my face, into my mouth, and bit it through
in the agony.  At length, the tender texture of that tract
giving way to such fierce tearing and rending, he pierc'd
something further into me: and now, outrageous and no longer
his own master, but borne headlong away by the fury and
over-mettle of that member, now exerting itself with a kind
of native rage, he breaks in, carries all before him, and
one violent merciless lunge sent it, imbrew'd, and reeking
with virgin blood, up to the very hilt in me . . . Then!
then all my resolution deserted me: I scream'd out, and
fainted away with the sharpness of the pain; and, as he told
me afterwards, on his drawing out, when emission was over
with him, my thighs were instantly all in a stream of blood
that flow'd from the wounded torn passage.

     When I recover'd my senses, I found myself undress'd,
and a-bed, in the arms of the sweet relenting murderer of my
virginity, who hung mourning tenderly over me, and holding
in his hand a cordial, which, coming from the still dear
author of so much pain, I could not refuse; my eyes, however,
moisten'd with tears, and languishingly turn'd upon him,
seemed to reproach him with his cruelty, and ask him if such
were the rewards of love.  But Charles, to whom I was now
infinitely endear'd by this complete triumph over a maiden-
head, where he so little expected to find one, in tenderness
to that pain which he had put me to, in procuring himself
the height of pleasure, smother'd his exultation, and em-
ploy'd himself with so much sweetness, so much warmth, to
sooth, to caress, and comfort me in my soft complainings,
which breath'd, indeed, more love than resentment, that I 
presently drown'd all sense of pain in the pleasure of seeing
him, of thinking that I belong'd to him: he who was now the
absolute disposer of my happiness, and, in one word, my fate.

     The sore was, however, too tender, the wound too bleed-
ing fresh, for Charles's good-nature to put my patience pre-
sently to another trial; but as I could not stir, or walk
across the room, he order'd the dinner to be brought to the
bed-side, where it could not be otherwise than my getting
down the wing of a fowl, and two or three glasses of wine,
since it was my ador'd youth who both serv'd, and urged them
on me, with that sweet irresistible authority with which love
had invested him over me.
 
     After dinner, and as everything but the wine was taken
away, Charles very impudently asks a leave, he might read the
grant of in my eyes, to come to bed to me, and accordingly
falls to undressing; which I could not see the progress of
without strange emotions of fear and pleasure.

     He is now in bed with me the first time, and in broad
day; but when thrusting up his own shirt and my shift, he 
laid his naked glowing body to mine . . . oh! insupportable
delight! oh! superhuman rapture! what pain could stand be-
fore a pleasure so transporting?  I felt no more the smart
of my wounds below; but, curling round him like the tendril
of a vine, as if I fear'd any part of him should be un-
touch'd or unpress'd by me, I return'd his strenuous em-
braces and kisses with a fervour and gust only known to true
love, and which mere lust could never rise to.

     Yes, even at this time, when all the tyranny of the 
passions is fully over and my veins roll no longer but a 
cold tranquil stream, the remembrance of those passages
that most affected me in my youth, still cheers and re-
freshes me.  Let me proceed then.  My beauteous youth was
now glew'd to me in all the folds and twists that we could
make our bodies meet in; when, no longer able to rein in the
fierceness of refresh'd desires, he gives his steed the head
and gently insinuating his thighs between mine, stopping my
mouth with kisses of humid fire, makes a fresh irruption, 
and renewing his thrusts, pierces, tears, and forces his way
up the torn tender folds that yielded him admission with a
smart little less severe that when the breach was first made.
I stifled, however, my cries, and bore him with the passive
fortitude of a heroine; soon his thrusts, more and more fur-
ious, cheeks flush'd with a deeper scarlet, his eyes turn'd
up in the fervent fit, some dying sighs, and an agonizing
shudder, announced the approaches of that extatic pleasure,
I was yet in too much pain to come in for my share of it.

     Nor was it till after a few enjoyments had numb'd and
blunted the sense of the smart, and given me to feel the
titillating inspersion of balsamic sweets, drew from me the
delicious return, and brought down all my passion, that I
arrived at excess of pleasure through excess of pain.  But,
when successive engagements had broke and inur'd me, I began
to enter into the true unallay'd relish of that pleasure of
pleasures, when the warm gush darts through all the ravish'd
inwards; what floods of bliss! what melting transports! what
agonies of delight! too fierce, too mighty for nature to
sustain; well has she therefore, no doubt, provided the re-
lief of a delicious momentary dissolution, the approaches of
which are intimated by a dear delirium, a sweet thrill on the
point of emitting those liquid sweets, in which enjoyment
itself is drown'd, when one gives the languishing stretch-out,
and dies at the discharge.

     How often, when the rage and tumult of my senses had
subsided after the melting flow, have I, in a tender medi-
tation ask'd myself coolly the question, if it was in nature
for any of its creatures to be so happy as I was?  Or, what
were all fears of the consequence, put in the scale of one
night's enjoyment of any thing so transcendently the taste
of my eyes and heart, as that delicious, fond, matchless
youth?

     Thus we spent the whole afternoon till supper time in
a continued circle of love delights, kissing, turtle-billing,
toying, and all the rest of the feast.  At length, supper
was serv'd in, before which Charles had, for I do not know
what reason, slipt his cloaths on; and sitting down by the
bed-side, we made table and table-cloth of the bed and sheets,
whilst he suffer'd nobody to attend or serve but himself.  He
ate with a very good appetite, and seem'd charm'd to see me
eat.  For my part, I was so enchanted with my fortune, so
transported with the comparison of the delights I now swam
in, with the insipidity of all my past scenes of life, that
I thought them sufficiently cheap at even the price of my
ruin, or the risk of their not lasting.  The present pos-
session was all my little head could find room for.

     We lay together that night, when, after playing re-
peated prizes of pleasure, nature, overspent and satisfy'd,
gave us up to the arms of sleep: those of my dear youth en-
circled me, the consciousness of which made even that sleep
more delicious.

     Late in the morning I wak'd first; and observing my
lover slept profoundly, softly disengag'd myself from his
arms, scarcely daring to breathe for fear of shortening his
repose; my cap, my hair, my shift, were all in disorder from
the rufflings I had undergone; and I took this opportunity
to adjust and set them as well as I could: whilst, every now
and then, looking at the sleeping youth with inconceivable
fondness and delight, and reflecting on all the pain he had
put me to, tacitly own'd that the pleasure had overpaid me
for my sufferings.

     It was then broad day.  I was sitting up in the bed,
the cloaths of which were all tossed, or rolled off, by the
unquietness of our motions, from the sultry heat of the
weather; nor could I refuse myself a pleasure that solicited
me so irresistibly, as this fair occasion of feasting my
sight with all those treasures of youthful beauty I had en-
joy'd, and which lay now almost entirely naked, his shirt
being truss'd up in a perfect wisp, which the warmth of the 
room and season made me easy about the consequence of.  I
hung over him enamour'd indeed! and devoured all his naked
charms with only two eyes, when I could have wish'd them at
least a hundred, for the fuller enjoyment of the gaze.

     Oh! could I paint his figure as I see it now, still 
present to my transported imagination! a whole length of an
allperfect, manly beauty in full view.  Think of a face
without a fault, glowing with all the opening bloom and 
vernal freshness of an age in which beauty is of either sex,
and which the first down over his upper lip scarce began to
distinguish.

     The parting of the double ruby pout of his lips seem'd
to exhale an air sweeter and purer than what it drew in: ah!
what violence did it not cost me to refrain the so tempted
kiss!

     Then a neck exquisitely turn'd, grac'd behind and on
the sides with his hair, playing freely in natural ringlets,
connected his head to a body of the most perfect form, and
of the most vigorous contexture, in which all the strength
of manhood was conceal'd and soften'd to appearance by the
delicacy of his complexion, the smoothness of his skin, and
the plumpness of his flesh.

     The platform of his snow-white bosom, that was laid out
in a manly proportion, presented, on the vermilion summit of
each pap, the idea of a rose about to blow.

     Nor did his shirt hinder me from observing that symmetry
of his limbs, that exactness of shape, in the fall of it to-
wards the loins, where the waist ends and the rounding swell
of the hips commences; where the skin, sleek, smooth, and
dazzling white, burnishes on the stretch over firm, plump, 
ripe flesh, that crimp'd and ran into dimples at the least
pressure, or that the touch could not rest upon, but slid
over as on the surface of the most polished ivory.

     His thighs, finely fashioned, and with a florid glossy
roundness, gradually tapering away to the knees, seem'd
pillars worthy to support that beauteous frame; at the 
bottom of which I could not, without some remains of terror,
some tender emotions too, fix my eyes on that terrible mac-
hine, which had, not long before, with such fury broke into,
torn, and almost ruin'd those soft, tender parts of mine
that had not yet done smarting with the effects of its rage;
but behold it now! crest fall'n, reclining its half-capt
vermilion head over one of his thighs, quiet, pliant, and to
all appearance incapable of the mischiefs and cruelty it had
committed.  Then the beautiful growth of the hair, in short
and soft curls round its root, its whiteness, branch'd veins,
the supple softness of the shaft, as it lay foreshort'd,
roll'd and shrunk up into a squab thickness, languid, and
borne up from between his thighs by its globular appendage,
that wondrous treasure-bag of nature's sweets, which,
rivell'd round, and purs'd up in the only wrinkles that are
known to please, perfected the prospect, and all together
formed the most interesting moving picture in nature, and
surely infinitely superior to those nudities furnish'd by
]the painters, statuaries, or any art, which are purchas'd
at immense prices; whilst the sight of them in actual life
is scarce sovereignly tasted by any but the few whom nature
has endowed with a fire of imagination, warmly pointed by a
truth of judgment to the spring-head, the originals of
beauty, of nature's unequall'd composition, above all the
imitation of art, or the reach of wealth to pay their price.

     But every thing must have an end.  A motion made by 
this angelic youth, in the listlessness of going off sleep,
replac'd his shirt and the bed-cloaths in a posture that 
shut up that treasure from longer view.

     I lay down then, and carrying my hands to that part of
me in which the objects just seen had begun to raise a 
mutiny that prevail'd over the smart of them, my fingers now
open'd themselves an easy passage; but long I had not time 
to consider the wide difference there, between the maid and
the now finish'd woman, before Charles wak'd, and turning
towards me, kindly enquir'd how I had rested? and, scarce
giving me time to answer, imprinted on my lips one of his
burning rapture-kisses, which darted a flame to my heart,
that from thence radiated to every part of me; and present-
ly, as if he had proudly meant revenge for the survey I had
smuggled of all his naked beauties, he spurns off the bed-
cloaths, and trussing up my shift as high as it would go,
took his turn to feast his eyes on all the gifts nature had
bestow'd on my person; his busy hands, too, rang'd intemper-
ately over every part of me.  The delicious austerity and
hardness of my yet unripe budding breasts, the whiteness
and firmness of my flesh, the freshness and regularity of my
features, the harmony of my limbs, all seem'd to confirm him
in his satisfaction with his bargain; but when curious to
explore the havoc he had made in the centre of his over-
fierce attack, he not only directed his hands there, but
with a pillow put under, placed me favourably for his wanton
purpose of inspection.  Then, who can express the fire his
eyes glisten'd, his hands glow'd with! whilst sighs of plea-
sure, and tender broken exclamations, were all the praises 
he could utter.  By this time his machine, stiffly risen at
me, gave me to see it in its highest state and bravery.  He
feels it himself, seems pleas'd at its condition, and, smil-
ing loves and graces, seizes one of my hands, and carries
it, with a gentle compulsion, to his pride of nature, and
its richest masterpiece.

     I, struggling faintly, could not help feeling what I 
could not grasp, a column of the whitest ivory, beautifully
streak'd with blue veins, and carrying, fully uncapt, a
head of the liveliest vermilion: no horn could be harder or
stiffer; yet no velvet more smooth or delicious to the touch.
Presently he guided my hand lower, to that part in which
nature and pleasure keep their stores in concert, so aptly
fasten'd and hung on to the root of their first instrument
and minister, that not improperly he might be styl'd their
purse-bearer too: there he made me feel distinctly, through
their soft cover, the contents, a pair of roundish balls,
that seem'd to play within, and elude all pressure but the
tenderest, from without.

     But now this visit of my soft warm hand in those so
sensible parts had put every thing into such ungovernable
fury that, disdaining all further preluding, and taking ad-
vantage of my commodious posture, he made the storm fall 
where I scarce patiently expected, and where he was sure to
lay it: presently, then, I felt the stiff insertion between
the yielding, divided lips of the wound, now open for life;
where the narrowness no longer put me to intolerable pain,
and afforded my lover no more difficulty than what height-
en'd his pleasure, in the strict embrace of that tender,
warm sheath, round the instrument it was so delicately ad-
justed to, and which, now cased home, so gorged me with
pleasure that it perfectly suffocated me and took away my
breath; then the killing thrusts! the unnumber'd kisses!
every one of which was a joy inexpressible; and that joy
lost in a crowd of yet greater blisses!  But this was a
disorder too violent in nature to last long: the vessels,
so stirr'd and intensely heated, soon boil'd over, and for
that time put out the fire; meanwhile all this dalliance
and disport had so far consum'd the morning, that it became
a kind of necessity to lay breakfast and dinner into one.

     In our calmer intervals Charles gave the following
account of himself, every word of which was true.  He was
the only son of a father who, having a small post in the
revenue, rather over-liv'd his income, and had given this
young gentleman a very slender education: no profession had
he bred him up to, but design'd to provide for him in the
army, by purchasing him an ensign's commission, that is to
say, provided he could raise the money, or procure it by
interest, either of which clauses was rather to be wish'd
than hoped for by him.  On no better a plan, however, had
this improvident father suffer'd this youth, a youth of
great promise, to run up to the age of manhood, or near it
at least, in next to idleness; and had, besides, taken no
sort of pains to give him even the common premonitions
against the vices of the town, and the dangers of all sorts,
which wait the unexperienc'd and unwary in it.  He liv'd at
home, and at discretion, with his father, who himself kept a
mistress; and for the rest, provided Charles did not ask him
for money, he was indolently kind to him: he might lie out
when he pleas'd; any excuse would serve, and even his repri-
mands were so slight that they carried with them rather an
air of connivance at the fault than any serious control or
constraint.  But, to supply his calls for money, Charles,
whose mother was dead, had, by her side, a grandmother who
doted upon him.  She had a considerable annuity to live on,
and very regularly parted with every shilling she could spare
to this darling of hers, to the no little heart-burn of his
father; who was vex'd, not that she by this means fed his
son's extravagance, but that she preferr'd Charles to him-
self; and we shall too soon see what a fatal turn such a
mercenary jealousy could operate in the breast of a father.

     Charles was, however, by the means of his grand-
mother's lavish fondness, very sufficiently enabled to keep
a mistress so easily contented as my love made me; and my
good fortune, for such I must ever call it, threw me in his
way, in the manner above related, just as he was on the
look-out for one.

     As to temper, the even sweetness of it made him seem
born for domestic happiness: tender, naturally polite, and
gentle-manner'd; it could never be his fault if ever jars
or animosities ruffled a calm he was so qualified in every
way to maintain or restore.  Without those great or shining
qualities that constitute a genius, or are fit to make a
noise in the world, he had all those humble ones that com-
pose the softer social merit: plain common sense, set off
with every grace of modesty and good nature, made him, if 
not admir'd, what is much happier, universally belov'd and
esteem'd.  But, as nothing but the beauties of his person
had at first attracted my regard and fix'd my passion,
neither was I then a judge of that internal merit, which I
had afterward full occasion to discover, and which perhaps,
in that season of giddiness and levity, would have touch'd
my heart very little, had it been lodg'd in a person less
the delight of my eyes and idol of my senses.  But to re-
turn to our situation.

     After dinner, which we ate a-bed in a most voluptuous
disorder, Charles got up, and taking a passionate leave of
me for a few hours, he went to town where, concerting mat-
ters with a young sharp lawyer, they went together to my 
late venerable mistress's, from whence I had, but the day
before, made my elopement, and with whom he was determin'd
to settle accounts in a manner that should cut off all after
reckonings from that quarter.

     Accordingly they went; but on the way, the Templar,
his friend, on thinking over Charles's information, saw
reason to give their visit another turn, and, instead of 
offering satisfaction, to demand it.

     On being let in, the girls of the house flock'd round
Charles, whom they knew, and from the earliness of my
escape, and their perfect ignorance of his ever having so
much as seen me, not having the least suspicion of his
being accessory to my flight, they were, in their way,
making up to him; and as to his companion, they took him
probably for a fresh cully.  But the Templar soon check'd
their forwardness, by enquiring for the old lady, with whom,
he said, with a grave judge-like countenance, that he had
some business to settle.

     Madam was immediately sent down for, and the ladies
being desir'd to clear the room, the lawyer ask'd her,
severely, if she did know, or had not decoy'd, under pre-
tence of hiring as a servant, a young girl, just come out
of the country, called FRANCES or FANNY HILL, describing
me withal as particularly as he could from Charles's des-
cription.

     It is peculiar to vice to tremble at the enquiries of
justice; and Mrs. Brown, whose conscience was not entirely
clear upon my account, as knowing as she was of the town, 
as hackney's as she was in bluffing through all the dangers
of her vocation, could not help being alarm'd at the ques-
tion, especially when he went on to talk of a Justice of
peace, Newgate, the Old Bailey, indictments for keeping a
disorderly house, pillory, carting, and the whole process 
of that nature.  She, who, it is likely, imagin'd I had 
lodg'd an information against her house, look'd extremely
blank, and began to make a thousand protestations and
excuses.  However, to abridge, they brought away trium-
phantly my box of things, which, had she not been under an
awe, she might have disputed with them; and not only that;
but a clearance and discharge of any demands on the house,
at the expense of no more than a bowl of arrack-punch, the
treat of which, together with the choice of the house con-
veniences, was offer'd and not accepted.  Charles all the
time acted the chance-companion of the lawyer, who had
brought him there, as he knew the house, and appear'd in 
no wise interested in the issue; but he had the collateral
pleasure of hearing all that I had told him verified, so
far as the bawd's fears would give her leave to enter into
my history, which, if one may guess by the composition she
so readily came into, were not small.

     Phoebe, my kind tutoress Phoebe, was at that time gone
out, perhaps in search of me, or their cook'd-up story had
not, it is probable, pass'd so smoothly.

     This negotiation had, however, taken up some time,
which would have appear'd much longer to me, left as I was,
in a strange house, if the landlady, a motherly sort of a
woman, to whom Charles had liberally recommended me, had
not come up and borne me company.  We drank tea, and her
chat help'd to pass away the time very agreeably, since he
was our theme; but as the evening deepened, and the hour
set for his return was elaps'd, I could not dispel the
gloom of impatience and tender fears which gathered upon
me, and which our timid sex are apt to feel in proportion
to their love.

     Long, however, I did not suffer: the sight of him
over-paid me; and the soft reproach I had prepar'd for him
expired before it reach'd my lips.

     I was still a-bed, yet unable to use my legs otherwise
than awkwardly, and Charles flew to me, catched me in his 
arms, rais'd and extending mine to meet his dear embrace,
and gives me an account, interrupted b